i am me

i'm just not getting better. i really don't know why.

my phlegm initially was jade green.

after 2 days, it turned clear.

and then yesterday, it turned cream green.

i just don't get it.

i'm popping panadols and clarinases like anything and nothing seems to work.

and now, my sinuses hurt. and it's giving me a headache.

how to study like this?

read, read, cough, cough.

read, read, blow nose, blow nose,

read, read, choke, cough, choke, cough.

it's utterly irritating.

i've been coughing so much, whenever i swallow, i can feel the small tears and varices in my throat. and it hurts.

and i feel really bad because i think i might be distracting the girls when they're trying to study also.

sigh.

i hate this. my emotions are all over the page. i can feel happy one minute and really down the next. it's just playing havoc with my head. how does one keep their wits around them when they can't even control their own emotions? i can't seem to keep a level head anymore. damn stupid.

and now, i'm bitching and whinging again.

remember what i said about liking the cold? i take that back. i hate it. no matter how many layers i pile on, my hands and feet still remain cold. hot water bottles only last so long, and the heater can't be turned on that long since it sucks up the electricity like mad.

i shall try and perk up now. maybe i'm feeling down since i'm sick and it's that time of the month when i'm particularly moody.

i miss my family.