Monday, June 25, 2007

*bip bip bip beeeeeeeeeeep*

*bip bip bip beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep*

**click**

7.30am...

time to get out of bed.

but i don't want to.

i'm sick afterall.

doesn't matter.

go anyway...you have to.

i blearily stumble to the toilet, did what i had to do, and shuffled back into my room.

what to wear? what to wear? ah, heck it, i'm gonna wear jeans today.

belt, belt...where's my belt? i can't find my belt. ah, screw it, i'll just keep hiking them up today.

7.53am...

shit...hurry, the bus is coming.

hurry, hurry, hurry..

shoes, shoes...which one to wear? black shoes? yeah..i suppose so.

quick, quick...bus bus...

run, run...phew..made it. 3 more minutes.

wait, wait...

good morning, how are you? i'm well, thank you. you did? oh, that's good. waiting for the bus? so am i. headed to the city? that's nice. have a nice day.

bus, ah bus...where are you ah bus...

ah...bus. wait. it's not my bus. it's ok...

20 minutes go by.

BUS, AH BUS!! WHERE ARE YOU AH??

AH BUS!!! yes! NOOO!!! it's not my bus again!!

43 minutes go by. this is ridiculous. oh yes, ma'am, i'm sure the bus will be here any minute. you're going to get a cab? i think that's a good idea.

*can i get a lift please???*

look at my watch...it's already 8.46am. damn it. i'm late. so gonna get screwed. shit, shit, shit.

bus? is that you bus? YES! that's my bus!

quick, quick...

drive, stop, drive, stop, pick up more passengers, drive, drive, jam, jam...

no, no, no, no....cannot be happening.

*ting*

finally.

excuse me, excuse me, thank you, thank you.

run, run *pant pant*

hurry, hurry, i'm late, i'm late.

i'm here!

congratulations. you've just missed the meeting.

shit.

i'm sorry dr, i had to wait almost an hour for the bus. it was really late this morning.

that's alright. wait...why are you speaking like that? are you sick??

urm...yeah?

then, GO HOME! what are you doing here?

but, but! i just got here!

well, i'm sorry, but go home! rest.

seriously???

yes! i don't want our patients to catch what you have...

whaT? i probably got it from one of them!

yes, but not all of them have it. go home, grace. it's ok. if you're too sick and can't call to say you're not coming, then don't come.

really?? ok then. bye.

should have stayed in bed.

it's amazing how i can get so caught up in the right now and how my world just suddenly shrinks to the size of a pinhead. i focus so much on how NOW is supposed to be and how NOW is stressing me out and how NOW doesn't seem to ever pass that i forget that there's a whole big world out there. that the bigger picture is where i'm headed to. i forget that God has a bigger purpose for my life than RIGHT NOW.

God is teaching me,

He's molding me,

He's healing me,

not the superficial wounds that reopen and bleed again,

but from the inside,

to change, to become a better person,

not only for myself, but also for the people around me.

as for the right now? i'm just gonna ride it out. with God next to me.

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