this is for pam.frenchie boy that was tutoring an aussie boy. when i heard him speak french, i broke out in goosebumps. it was oh-so-sexy. sigh.
EXAM TOMORROW!
HOME ON FRIDAY!
PARTY ON SATURDAY!
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
i just got hit on.
in cyberspace.
BY A GIRL!
for real.
i opened up my email inbox this morning and there was this email from multiply.
usually they only send updates which says 'what you've missed' but today, there was a 'hi there..'. so i thought i might be a friend who's messaging me.
*click*
'hi there...i think it's about time i started using multiply...bla bla bla...and i've been going through your site and you seem like a pretty interesting person...not to mention CUTE! you've captured my eye. hope you'll add me and we could become friends. or more...'
love,
XXX
omg.
in cyberspace.
BY A GIRL!
for real.
i opened up my email inbox this morning and there was this email from multiply.
usually they only send updates which says 'what you've missed' but today, there was a 'hi there..'. so i thought i might be a friend who's messaging me.
*click*
'hi there...i think it's about time i started using multiply...bla bla bla...and i've been going through your site and you seem like a pretty interesting person...not to mention CUTE! you've captured my eye. hope you'll add me and we could become friends. or more...'
love,
XXX
omg.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
it is...6 days until i fly home.
and i'm caught in a dilemma.
it is 6 days until i fly home. and the house has run out of toilet paper.
to buy, or not to buy.
maybe i'll just steal some from the hospital tomorrow.
...
we women, are complicated beings. we say things but don't mean them. we elect to do things, and end up changing our minds. we lead people on, without meaning to hurt them. and we generally affect people without knowing that we have.
why do we get hurt? i lay my heart out there on a silver platter, well, at least i did. and bit by excruciating bit, for all the world to see, it gets sliced up into little pieces. and in the end, that's all that's left of a whole heart. little pieces. and i can't give little pieces of my heart to someone. i want to give them a whole one. so what do i do, i try to piece them back together. as fast as i can. but no matter how fast i aspire to go, it still takes a long while. time is sometimes put to a different use. more important things crop up in place of fixing my heart and it is left neglected. so, ultimately, right now, pieces are all i can offer. they're not as small a piece as they once were, but i'm still not whole. fragmented pieces of my heart, laid out for the world to see. i try to hide it so the world can't laugh at the jagged edges. but it shows no matter how hard i try to cover up and put on a smile so bright, it hurts. they can always tell, they can always see. because they can see that what we're trying to hide, is what they themselves are hiding. and it's easier for them to laugh and to ridicule because it hides the pain and for that short while, they forget their own pain. we're all walking around with pieces of our broken heart, trying to mend. we're all walking around with smiles on our face so bright, it hurts. but instead of hiding and being alone, why don't we try helping each other mend and helping each other become whole again?
and i'm caught in a dilemma.
it is 6 days until i fly home. and the house has run out of toilet paper.
to buy, or not to buy.
maybe i'll just steal some from the hospital tomorrow.
...
we women, are complicated beings. we say things but don't mean them. we elect to do things, and end up changing our minds. we lead people on, without meaning to hurt them. and we generally affect people without knowing that we have.
why do we get hurt? i lay my heart out there on a silver platter, well, at least i did. and bit by excruciating bit, for all the world to see, it gets sliced up into little pieces. and in the end, that's all that's left of a whole heart. little pieces. and i can't give little pieces of my heart to someone. i want to give them a whole one. so what do i do, i try to piece them back together. as fast as i can. but no matter how fast i aspire to go, it still takes a long while. time is sometimes put to a different use. more important things crop up in place of fixing my heart and it is left neglected. so, ultimately, right now, pieces are all i can offer. they're not as small a piece as they once were, but i'm still not whole. fragmented pieces of my heart, laid out for the world to see. i try to hide it so the world can't laugh at the jagged edges. but it shows no matter how hard i try to cover up and put on a smile so bright, it hurts. they can always tell, they can always see. because they can see that what we're trying to hide, is what they themselves are hiding. and it's easier for them to laugh and to ridicule because it hides the pain and for that short while, they forget their own pain. we're all walking around with pieces of our broken heart, trying to mend. we're all walking around with smiles on our face so bright, it hurts. but instead of hiding and being alone, why don't we try helping each other mend and helping each other become whole again?
Monday, November 12, 2007
there are currently 3 different sarahs who are in the same hospital and the same 'rotation' as i am. the first sarah, as we all know is OUR sarah, sarah sim. the second sarah, is ANOTHER sarah whose surname i don't remember. third sarah is sarah steele.
1st sarah.
sarah sim. chinese. small, petite bespectacled girl. has a tendency to squint and rub her eyes when tired. 3rd year medical student doing surgery rotation.
2nd sarah.
sarah whatshername. small, petite, nonspectacled girl. looks very hoity-toity. very fierce looking, likes to act like she knows it all and has a moustache. born and bred in australia but of asian heritage. 4th year medical student doing her elective with the anaesthetic team.
3rd sarah.
sarah steele. lovely lady. tall, broad shouldered, kind, very helpful and funny. she's got the loveliest smile and the best demeanor. born and bred in australia and is a true blue ozzie chick. 4th year medical student doing her elective in general surgery.
one would think it's easy to differentiate all three sarahs and ONE grace. but as of today, you can call me sarah number four. since my very lovely, very young and very intelligent locum surgeon has been calling me that for 3 surgeries straight. how hard is it to tell the difference? hello? i happen to be taller than the 2 other chinese sarahs. small eyes, same la. but then, i'm so much more bigger than them.
hmm...i hope she doesn't mess up my assessment
anyhoo...
THANK YOU LEON FOR FIXING MY COMMENTS AND ENABLING RSS. whatever that is.
1st sarah.
sarah sim. chinese. small, petite bespectacled girl. has a tendency to squint and rub her eyes when tired. 3rd year medical student doing surgery rotation.
2nd sarah.
sarah whatshername. small, petite, nonspectacled girl. looks very hoity-toity. very fierce looking, likes to act like she knows it all and has a moustache. born and bred in australia but of asian heritage. 4th year medical student doing her elective with the anaesthetic team.
3rd sarah.
sarah steele. lovely lady. tall, broad shouldered, kind, very helpful and funny. she's got the loveliest smile and the best demeanor. born and bred in australia and is a true blue ozzie chick. 4th year medical student doing her elective in general surgery.
one would think it's easy to differentiate all three sarahs and ONE grace. but as of today, you can call me sarah number four. since my very lovely, very young and very intelligent locum surgeon has been calling me that for 3 surgeries straight. how hard is it to tell the difference? hello? i happen to be taller than the 2 other chinese sarahs. small eyes, same la. but then, i'm so much more bigger than them.
hmm...i hope she doesn't mess up my assessment
anyhoo...
THANK YOU LEON FOR FIXING MY COMMENTS AND ENABLING RSS. whatever that is.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
kepercayaan kepada Tuhan
kesetiaan kepada raja dan negara
keluhuran perlembagaan
kedaulatan undang-undang
kesopanan and kesusilaan
remember how we used to recite the rukun negara every assembly when we were in primary school? i used to be able to rattle it off by heart back then. it was quite literally engraved into our young, maleable minds.
was feeling unusually hyper and oddly patriotic this evening and was trying very hard to remember the 5 rukun negara which to many of us, we've never used or bothered to remember after leaving school. was raking my brain trying to remember the order and the words to it and finally got it.
was walking and singing Negaraku as well and my friends and i were jabbering away in BM trying to see if we could still manage to order our meals in BM and whether we would be able to converse and treat patients in the government hospitals once we were back home.
it was all fine and dandy til i came home to this.
no words can describe how i feel right now. how ironic is it that i was so proud to be a Malaysian earlier this evening and then to come back and see how much injustice and strife there is in reality. i have to admit, that i am blissfully ignorant when it comes to the politics of my home country and i'm not proud of it. i always thought that eventually, when the time comes, or should i say, when i'm older and maybe slightly wiser, only then would i take a slight interest in my country. but i think that time is now.
has the government become so corrupt in it's greed to reach levels of wealth and power that they've disregarded everything that is sacred and good and right in this world? what happened to justice, freedom and truth? is everyone so busy trying to make their voices heard that they don't listen to what others have to say as well?
i don't think i'm in the right position to say anything now. my mind's too confused. my heart's too broken. my spirit's too disappointed.
kesetiaan kepada raja dan negara
keluhuran perlembagaan
kedaulatan undang-undang
kesopanan and kesusilaan
remember how we used to recite the rukun negara every assembly when we were in primary school? i used to be able to rattle it off by heart back then. it was quite literally engraved into our young, maleable minds.
was feeling unusually hyper and oddly patriotic this evening and was trying very hard to remember the 5 rukun negara which to many of us, we've never used or bothered to remember after leaving school. was raking my brain trying to remember the order and the words to it and finally got it.
was walking and singing Negaraku as well and my friends and i were jabbering away in BM trying to see if we could still manage to order our meals in BM and whether we would be able to converse and treat patients in the government hospitals once we were back home.
it was all fine and dandy til i came home to this.
no words can describe how i feel right now. how ironic is it that i was so proud to be a Malaysian earlier this evening and then to come back and see how much injustice and strife there is in reality. i have to admit, that i am blissfully ignorant when it comes to the politics of my home country and i'm not proud of it. i always thought that eventually, when the time comes, or should i say, when i'm older and maybe slightly wiser, only then would i take a slight interest in my country. but i think that time is now.
has the government become so corrupt in it's greed to reach levels of wealth and power that they've disregarded everything that is sacred and good and right in this world? what happened to justice, freedom and truth? is everyone so busy trying to make their voices heard that they don't listen to what others have to say as well?
i don't think i'm in the right position to say anything now. my mind's too confused. my heart's too broken. my spirit's too disappointed.
Friday, November 09, 2007
so i hate that i get emotional when i watch moving music videos, or poignant advertisements, or even heartfelt written songs. garrggh...
received an offline msn message the other day from pauliethepilot saying,
'grace! i'll be in brisbane on wednesday, you wanna have dinner?'
of course i did and replied.
'of course! here's my number call me when you get here'
and so we met up.
it's good to see a familiar face from home when you're so far away. he took me up to the executive lounge of the Hilton hotel for some tidbits and wine and we sat chatting away about life and the journey we're taking on the road that we've chosen. it had a splendid view of the city's skyline and it was really impressive. for a moment there i was feeling very underdressed. i was casually decked out in a tshirt and a pair of jeans with a jacket thrown on. i stepped into the lounge and was like...
'woah...i think i'm not dressed for this place'
all the high flying, expensive suit wearing, ladies with chanel and LV bags were sitting there, sipping their wine and making small talk.
yikes...i knew i should have worn a dress.
anyway...we weren't there very long and adjourned to the restaurant that he picked out. Vino's. on eagle street pier. another fancy place.
felt even MORE out of place since we were the only asians there and everyone was dressed up to the nines. but the dinner was really nice. had oysters for starters and then salmon for the main course.
oysters. mmm...i love oysters. they were so fresh, i moaned each time i took one in my mouth. gosh..i love oysters. maybe i'll go buy oysters later. mmm...oysters.
and all night, we were just talking and getting to know each other better. it's so funny that i've known him for quite a while from church but never really KNEW him. it was always the normal hi and bye greetings followed by some small talk. and on msn, we've only ever spoken for 15 minutes maximum before either of us had to rush off somewhere. so, it was really nice to finally sit down and talk to him.
but i think i've come to a conclusion about myself.
i don't think i like fancy wining and dining. oh, don't get me wrong. with the right guy, i'd be smitten. but if i wanna go out with a friend for dinner, i think i'd go to a place where they'd FEED me instead of letting me TASTE their food. especially with the prices they were charging! let's just say, i was quite relieved when he said the meal was on him. but i DID offer to go dutch. left the restaurant hungry and after saying goodbye, went to a friend's place for ice cream.
can someone tell me why i've got absolutely no motivation to study? sigh...exams in 2 weeks and i'm so not ready.
received an offline msn message the other day from pauliethepilot saying,
'grace! i'll be in brisbane on wednesday, you wanna have dinner?'
of course i did and replied.
'of course! here's my number call me when you get here'
and so we met up.
it's good to see a familiar face from home when you're so far away. he took me up to the executive lounge of the Hilton hotel for some tidbits and wine and we sat chatting away about life and the journey we're taking on the road that we've chosen. it had a splendid view of the city's skyline and it was really impressive. for a moment there i was feeling very underdressed. i was casually decked out in a tshirt and a pair of jeans with a jacket thrown on. i stepped into the lounge and was like...
'woah...i think i'm not dressed for this place'
all the high flying, expensive suit wearing, ladies with chanel and LV bags were sitting there, sipping their wine and making small talk.
yikes...i knew i should have worn a dress.
anyway...we weren't there very long and adjourned to the restaurant that he picked out. Vino's. on eagle street pier. another fancy place.
felt even MORE out of place since we were the only asians there and everyone was dressed up to the nines. but the dinner was really nice. had oysters for starters and then salmon for the main course.
oysters. mmm...i love oysters. they were so fresh, i moaned each time i took one in my mouth. gosh..i love oysters. maybe i'll go buy oysters later. mmm...oysters.
and all night, we were just talking and getting to know each other better. it's so funny that i've known him for quite a while from church but never really KNEW him. it was always the normal hi and bye greetings followed by some small talk. and on msn, we've only ever spoken for 15 minutes maximum before either of us had to rush off somewhere. so, it was really nice to finally sit down and talk to him.
but i think i've come to a conclusion about myself.
i don't think i like fancy wining and dining. oh, don't get me wrong. with the right guy, i'd be smitten. but if i wanna go out with a friend for dinner, i think i'd go to a place where they'd FEED me instead of letting me TASTE their food. especially with the prices they were charging! let's just say, i was quite relieved when he said the meal was on him. but i DID offer to go dutch. left the restaurant hungry and after saying goodbye, went to a friend's place for ice cream.
can someone tell me why i've got absolutely no motivation to study? sigh...exams in 2 weeks and i'm so not ready.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
you know how you're in a bus and it's approaching the next stop. about 20 odd feet away. and suddenly in the corner of your eye you see someone running, trying desperately to reach the bus stop before the bus does in order to catch it. run, run, run. the bus stops and he's not there yet. the bus picks up the passengers and moves on. fail. the man didn't manage to catch up.
i've seen many of these incidences and in some perverse way, it's actually quite funny. i don't feel too bad because the bus i usually catch comes once every 15 minutes. so, the guy probably wouldn't have to wait too long to catch the next one.
today, karma decided to be a bitch and take a huge chunk outta my ass.
today, i was that person running.
it's 7.15am and i'm walking towards the bus stop. i'm early. i know that because i checked what time it would be arriving. 7.22am. i've got 7 minutes to spare. walk, walk, walk. and i hear a rumble behind me. and it was like slow motion. i turn, i see the bus, i scream in my head 'NO!' and i start running. the bus passes me. crap. traffic light. 'please turn red, please turn red, please turn red'. and it's green. double crap. run, run, run. please please please. i have to catch it.
now you see...i know what you're thinking. catch it again in 15 minutes la. no problem what. ah...but this is a different bus. this is the bus i have to take to get to my hospital in redcliffe. and it takes a hour on the bus to get there. and this particular bus, only comes once every hour. and i CANNOT afford to miss it.
run, run, run. and all the while i'm thinking,
'please wait, please wait, please wait'.
miraculously, it does!
but with every step, my mind conflicts itself.
'it's waiting! YES!'
'oh man, i'm sure it's gonna leave like, NOW! when i'm 10 feet away and running until i can feel my lungs screaming'
'don't be so pessimistic! it's still there!'
run, run, run.
crap, crap, CRAP! my shoe!
trust my luck to wear these shoes today. i run back the 5 steps to retrieve my shoe.
'quick, quick, quick!!'
YES!
'THANK YOU!!!'
'no worries'. and the bus driver smiles that all knowing smile when someone races after the bus.
i've seen many of these incidences and in some perverse way, it's actually quite funny. i don't feel too bad because the bus i usually catch comes once every 15 minutes. so, the guy probably wouldn't have to wait too long to catch the next one.
today, karma decided to be a bitch and take a huge chunk outta my ass.
today, i was that person running.
it's 7.15am and i'm walking towards the bus stop. i'm early. i know that because i checked what time it would be arriving. 7.22am. i've got 7 minutes to spare. walk, walk, walk. and i hear a rumble behind me. and it was like slow motion. i turn, i see the bus, i scream in my head 'NO!' and i start running. the bus passes me. crap. traffic light. 'please turn red, please turn red, please turn red'. and it's green. double crap. run, run, run. please please please. i have to catch it.
now you see...i know what you're thinking. catch it again in 15 minutes la. no problem what. ah...but this is a different bus. this is the bus i have to take to get to my hospital in redcliffe. and it takes a hour on the bus to get there. and this particular bus, only comes once every hour. and i CANNOT afford to miss it.
run, run, run. and all the while i'm thinking,
'please wait, please wait, please wait'.
miraculously, it does!
but with every step, my mind conflicts itself.
'it's waiting! YES!'
'oh man, i'm sure it's gonna leave like, NOW! when i'm 10 feet away and running until i can feel my lungs screaming'
'don't be so pessimistic! it's still there!'
run, run, run.
crap, crap, CRAP! my shoe!
trust my luck to wear these shoes today. i run back the 5 steps to retrieve my shoe.
'quick, quick, quick!!'
YES!
'THANK YOU!!!'
'no worries'. and the bus driver smiles that all knowing smile when someone races after the bus.
Saturday, November 03, 2007
Happy Birthday Adrian, the last of us to turn 23!
group shot with early Christmas candy canes. ask the number one girl why. her idea
the number one girl
hooi san and ying wei in party hats
cake
adrian the birthday boy/sportsdude
zhao kang the weirdo and me, rubbing my nose
throwing the frisbee
one, two, UP!
the ladies
the men
birthday boy and his number one girl
one, two, POINT!
someone took my bike. =(
hehehe...i've got dexter's bike
leon digging the watermelon
zhao kang getting in touch with his inner child
dexter knows how to chew 20 times before swallowing
ying wei being the cutie she is
here..have a sausage
group shot with early Christmas candy canes. ask the number one girl why. her idea
the number one girl
hooi san and ying wei in party hats
cake
adrian the birthday boy/sportsdude
zhao kang the weirdo and me, rubbing my nose
throwing the frisbee
one, two, UP!
the ladies
the men
birthday boy and his number one girl
one, two, POINT!
someone took my bike. =(
hehehe...i've got dexter's bike
leon digging the watermelon
zhao kang getting in touch with his inner child
dexter knows how to chew 20 times before swallowing
ying wei being the cutie she is
here..have a sausageFriday, November 02, 2007
halloween was yesterday. but what was it really about?
googled history of halloween and a whole list came out. too lazy to read it all to condense it for your reading pleasure, so, go google it. it'd make quite an interesting read and quite an interesting conversation starter.
anyway...have been reading gossip blogs and celebrity websites these past few days and these sites are littered with pictures of celebrities dressed up in their halloween costumes and going for parties. and is it me, or does everyone tend to dress up extremely skanky during this holiday? halloween, it seems, is just another 'get out from jail card' for them to dress up in the worst possible costumes, read, slutty, and apparently be ok with it? there was not a single original or interesting costume that i could find. it was all either, slutty nurse, slutty french maid, slutty animals, slutty devil, slutty angel, slutty fairy tale characters and slutty, well, slut. they walk around in dressed up, fancy versions of their undergarments and parade it around for the whole world to see. and these are the people we idolize? great examples we're setting up for ourselves don't you think?
i'm extremely tired, but extremely stoked. i'm on this high and it's from assisting in 2 emergency laparotomies yesterday in the operating theatre. had just arrived at the hospital when i saw my doctor wheeling in a patient into the OT and was calling for other residents to come help her when she spotted me and asked me to assist her. oh yeah, talk about being in the right place at the right time. but of course, it backfired at me and i had to stay in at the hospital til about 8 in the evening last night. not to mention holding large bowels full of shit that everytime i think about it, i can't eat. and the smell, urghh....all of us were breathing through our mouths the whole night due to the foul smell that came out of the patient's abdomen. and who was the one who said a surgeon's life was glamourous?
thanks justin for sending me home and making your fiance wait after she had cooked you dinner.
breaking out in pimples due to the lack of rest and the high amount of stress. exams in 3 weeks! crap. here we go again.
on the other hand, i've got home to look forward to. and a surgery to undergo for my teeth. and a holiday in bali. and Christmas. and parties with friends. and weddings to attend. not to mention a wedding to plan. and family to see. and a car to drive. and a large queen sized bed. and food. mmm...food.
googled history of halloween and a whole list came out. too lazy to read it all to condense it for your reading pleasure, so, go google it. it'd make quite an interesting read and quite an interesting conversation starter.
anyway...have been reading gossip blogs and celebrity websites these past few days and these sites are littered with pictures of celebrities dressed up in their halloween costumes and going for parties. and is it me, or does everyone tend to dress up extremely skanky during this holiday? halloween, it seems, is just another 'get out from jail card' for them to dress up in the worst possible costumes, read, slutty, and apparently be ok with it? there was not a single original or interesting costume that i could find. it was all either, slutty nurse, slutty french maid, slutty animals, slutty devil, slutty angel, slutty fairy tale characters and slutty, well, slut. they walk around in dressed up, fancy versions of their undergarments and parade it around for the whole world to see. and these are the people we idolize? great examples we're setting up for ourselves don't you think?
i'm extremely tired, but extremely stoked. i'm on this high and it's from assisting in 2 emergency laparotomies yesterday in the operating theatre. had just arrived at the hospital when i saw my doctor wheeling in a patient into the OT and was calling for other residents to come help her when she spotted me and asked me to assist her. oh yeah, talk about being in the right place at the right time. but of course, it backfired at me and i had to stay in at the hospital til about 8 in the evening last night. not to mention holding large bowels full of shit that everytime i think about it, i can't eat. and the smell, urghh....all of us were breathing through our mouths the whole night due to the foul smell that came out of the patient's abdomen. and who was the one who said a surgeon's life was glamourous?
thanks justin for sending me home and making your fiance wait after she had cooked you dinner.
breaking out in pimples due to the lack of rest and the high amount of stress. exams in 3 weeks! crap. here we go again.
on the other hand, i've got home to look forward to. and a surgery to undergo for my teeth. and a holiday in bali. and Christmas. and parties with friends. and weddings to attend. not to mention a wedding to plan. and family to see. and a car to drive. and a large queen sized bed. and food. mmm...food.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
a HUGE apology to everyone on my MSN list who i've 'sent' a virus to. i'm really, really, really sorry.
i've been up half the night trying to get rid of it from my computer. i've run spybot. i've run ad-aware. i've run avg. and STILL the stupid virus is still there when i turn on my MSN.
i've come to the conclusion that i need professional help. hence the date with the ONE tonight. hope he gets it fixed.
i'm so hooked on beyonce's songs at the moment. especially the dance ones 'get me bodied', 'freakum dress', 'suga mama' and 'upgrade you'. i play them every morning and do the shimmy shimmy in my room to wake me up. i wonder if my housemates wonder why i keep looping these songs.
poor computer. *sayangs*
sometimes i amaze myself with my stupidity. i need someone to keep knocking sense into my head.
mornings are the worst for me right now. i find that i'm relying more and more on my morning coffee to get me up. i have to get up at 5.30 every morning to get to hospital by 7 for ward rounds. stupid bus takes almost an hour and a half to get there. so imagine spending 3 hours everyday on the bus just going to and fro the hospital. next year, i tell you, i'm getting a car. fosho.
will be going home in a few short weeks. and my room is a mess! hahaha...i've done three loads of laundry in the past 2 weeks and the clean clothes are just sitting on my chair behind me. i'm just too darn lazy to put them away. maybe i should just start packing now. my cupboard won't hold my clothes anymore anyway. i hope i find a place with built in wardrobes next year.
got locked out of the house the other day. lovely. so, i had to climb in the window. phoof! that was a feat in itself i can tell you that. got some mighty brilliant bruises from doing so after hoisting myself on the window sill. makes me wonder how come people's houses don't get broken into as often as it does back in KL. i mean, it's really quite easy. no gates, no fences, no grills, just mosquito screens, which, seriously are really easy to break through. but then, i shouldn't tempt fate. later my house gets broken into.
choi! choi! choi!
*knocks on wood*
not like i believe in those things anyway.
i've been up half the night trying to get rid of it from my computer. i've run spybot. i've run ad-aware. i've run avg. and STILL the stupid virus is still there when i turn on my MSN.
i've come to the conclusion that i need professional help. hence the date with the ONE tonight. hope he gets it fixed.
i'm so hooked on beyonce's songs at the moment. especially the dance ones 'get me bodied', 'freakum dress', 'suga mama' and 'upgrade you'. i play them every morning and do the shimmy shimmy in my room to wake me up. i wonder if my housemates wonder why i keep looping these songs.
poor computer. *sayangs*
sometimes i amaze myself with my stupidity. i need someone to keep knocking sense into my head.
mornings are the worst for me right now. i find that i'm relying more and more on my morning coffee to get me up. i have to get up at 5.30 every morning to get to hospital by 7 for ward rounds. stupid bus takes almost an hour and a half to get there. so imagine spending 3 hours everyday on the bus just going to and fro the hospital. next year, i tell you, i'm getting a car. fosho.
will be going home in a few short weeks. and my room is a mess! hahaha...i've done three loads of laundry in the past 2 weeks and the clean clothes are just sitting on my chair behind me. i'm just too darn lazy to put them away. maybe i should just start packing now. my cupboard won't hold my clothes anymore anyway. i hope i find a place with built in wardrobes next year.
got locked out of the house the other day. lovely. so, i had to climb in the window. phoof! that was a feat in itself i can tell you that. got some mighty brilliant bruises from doing so after hoisting myself on the window sill. makes me wonder how come people's houses don't get broken into as often as it does back in KL. i mean, it's really quite easy. no gates, no fences, no grills, just mosquito screens, which, seriously are really easy to break through. but then, i shouldn't tempt fate. later my house gets broken into.
choi! choi! choi!
*knocks on wood*
not like i believe in those things anyway.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
i open the door and expected to see your face around the corner. but not just yet. i laugh to myself, thinking you were playing a trick and went looking for you. i call out your name, but to no reply. my smile broadens. you know how i love it when you play games with me. i call again. and still silence echoed. i step into the bedroom, to see no shadows. no lights. my hand reaches for the switch only to stop. i hear a sound. my steps still and my head turns. i listen again and the sound doesn't disappoint.
i pad quietly with my stockinged feet, along the corridor leading to the backyard. again, the lights are off. the windows filter in the moonlight and i pause to gaze at the luminous orb hanging aloft as if by magic. the sound becomes louder. i shake myself from my reverie and continue on with the game you seem to be playing.
i call out yet again. and this time, i hear faint laughter. i remove my jacket and let it drop to the floor. i unbutton my top two buttons and untuck my shirt from my skirt's waistband. i reach the door leading out to the backyard and my hand rests on the doorknob. i knew something beautiful was about to happen.
i turn the doorknob and open the door. i don't see anything at first. the moon having disappeared behind some passing clouds. my eyes adjust to the dimness of the night and i look around. i look for you. and there you are.
you hold out your hand and i slowly walk to you. our fingers touch and finally our palms meet. your smile greets my eyes and i feel my own spreading across my face. i search your face, i search your eyes. it is there. there can be no doubt. it is there.
i slip into your arms and your warmth envelopes me. they say home is where the heart is, and for me, my heart is with you.
...
i wanted to write something to see what type of person i am. i didn't think out what to write. i just sort of let my fingers flow. there was a point where it could have either been really heartwrenching or it could be really romantic and lovey-dovey. and i guess my fingers/heart went with lovey-dovey.
i'm such a sap.
i pad quietly with my stockinged feet, along the corridor leading to the backyard. again, the lights are off. the windows filter in the moonlight and i pause to gaze at the luminous orb hanging aloft as if by magic. the sound becomes louder. i shake myself from my reverie and continue on with the game you seem to be playing.
i call out yet again. and this time, i hear faint laughter. i remove my jacket and let it drop to the floor. i unbutton my top two buttons and untuck my shirt from my skirt's waistband. i reach the door leading out to the backyard and my hand rests on the doorknob. i knew something beautiful was about to happen.
i turn the doorknob and open the door. i don't see anything at first. the moon having disappeared behind some passing clouds. my eyes adjust to the dimness of the night and i look around. i look for you. and there you are.
you hold out your hand and i slowly walk to you. our fingers touch and finally our palms meet. your smile greets my eyes and i feel my own spreading across my face. i search your face, i search your eyes. it is there. there can be no doubt. it is there.
i slip into your arms and your warmth envelopes me. they say home is where the heart is, and for me, my heart is with you.
...
i wanted to write something to see what type of person i am. i didn't think out what to write. i just sort of let my fingers flow. there was a point where it could have either been really heartwrenching or it could be really romantic and lovey-dovey. and i guess my fingers/heart went with lovey-dovey.
i'm such a sap.
Monday, October 22, 2007
i had the most absurd dream.
something about weddings going on one after another all in the same place.
i think it's because i saw 5 different wedding processions while taking a walk in the QUT gardens on saturday. i wish there were such things in KL. parks and gardens to walk in. takes my mind off very messy and stressful matters.
alsoin the dream, i kept going to the toilet and people kept barging in when i'm doing my business.
hello? knock much?
i think it was due to the running out of toilet tissue in my own toilet.
or something of the sort.
assignments.
i'm neck deep in them right now. all to save my ass for this surgery rotation. apparently doing assignments well will actually help you pass the final exam. so i'm all for it. i'm an assignment girl. i like assignments. if they weren't so tedious. rawr.
so the maid's gone in my house in KL. something about her father dying and her going back and then her husband making up stories about her being in a car accident and her not wanting to come back and all that drama. such a sad thing because i really liked her. she was like, the only indonesian maid that i really liked. i could talk to her. i could laugh with her. i could cry and she would comfort me as well. this doesn't usually happen with my older indon maids. but this girl was nice. sad that she didn't want to come back and felt that she had to lie to actually get away. oh well...looks like beds won't be magically made when i head back home. neither will my clothes be pressed to perfection.
so, i'm falling sick again. i think it's due to the weather. it's been hot and cold for the longest time now. it's blistering during the day and bone-chilling at night. hello? what happened to summer?
sisters at home are stressing as well. models to hand up. exams to sit for. will a student's life never end? especially in the fields that we have chosen. medicine. architecture. law. all constantly learning subjects.
was eating at this asian restaurant one of the days and the owner has become a good friend of mine. so we were talking and she was telling me about her son who was also a doctor here in brisbane. he had previously studied for 4 years to be a physiotherapist. after that, he studied another 4 years to become a doctor. and now, he's studying to be a paediatrician. and after that, he wants to subspecialise in congenital diseases. wow. thinking about it makes me tired. i mean, i know medicine is a life-long learning profession, but sir, don't you feel tired? i know most people would see it as bettering one's self and constantly upgrading the ol' brain. but is that the path people would willingly take? i'm sure after a certain point, burnout occurs. the mind just refuses to take in anymore input. i know it happens to me, and maybe it's because i'm lazy but i think it's also due to the lack of passion and genuine interest in what i'm doing. how do i rekindle that passion? will i constantly fight and struggle to just be interested in this field of life?
oh yeah. hello uncle wann. yes, i'm complaining again. i like to complain. it helps me release stress.
i've been living everyday with blinkers on. i'm just going through the motions. reliving each day like the last. there doesn't seem to be any meaning to what i'm doing. i don't see what i'm doing. i don't experience it. i don't enjoy it. why? where has my zest for life gone? day in and day out, it's the same old thing all over again.
had a talk with a friend the other day and i've come to realise that i know all the right things to say but never really apply it to my life. i know how to tell people the right things to do and how to lead and encourage them, but in my own life, i'm empty. i see no point in following my own advice. it just doesn't seem to work for me. bloody hypocrite i am.
FIGHT GRACE! FIGHT!
just because we can
something about weddings going on one after another all in the same place.
i think it's because i saw 5 different wedding processions while taking a walk in the QUT gardens on saturday. i wish there were such things in KL. parks and gardens to walk in. takes my mind off very messy and stressful matters.
alsoin the dream, i kept going to the toilet and people kept barging in when i'm doing my business.
hello? knock much?
i think it was due to the running out of toilet tissue in my own toilet.
or something of the sort.
assignments.
i'm neck deep in them right now. all to save my ass for this surgery rotation. apparently doing assignments well will actually help you pass the final exam. so i'm all for it. i'm an assignment girl. i like assignments. if they weren't so tedious. rawr.
so the maid's gone in my house in KL. something about her father dying and her going back and then her husband making up stories about her being in a car accident and her not wanting to come back and all that drama. such a sad thing because i really liked her. she was like, the only indonesian maid that i really liked. i could talk to her. i could laugh with her. i could cry and she would comfort me as well. this doesn't usually happen with my older indon maids. but this girl was nice. sad that she didn't want to come back and felt that she had to lie to actually get away. oh well...looks like beds won't be magically made when i head back home. neither will my clothes be pressed to perfection.
so, i'm falling sick again. i think it's due to the weather. it's been hot and cold for the longest time now. it's blistering during the day and bone-chilling at night. hello? what happened to summer?
sisters at home are stressing as well. models to hand up. exams to sit for. will a student's life never end? especially in the fields that we have chosen. medicine. architecture. law. all constantly learning subjects.
was eating at this asian restaurant one of the days and the owner has become a good friend of mine. so we were talking and she was telling me about her son who was also a doctor here in brisbane. he had previously studied for 4 years to be a physiotherapist. after that, he studied another 4 years to become a doctor. and now, he's studying to be a paediatrician. and after that, he wants to subspecialise in congenital diseases. wow. thinking about it makes me tired. i mean, i know medicine is a life-long learning profession, but sir, don't you feel tired? i know most people would see it as bettering one's self and constantly upgrading the ol' brain. but is that the path people would willingly take? i'm sure after a certain point, burnout occurs. the mind just refuses to take in anymore input. i know it happens to me, and maybe it's because i'm lazy but i think it's also due to the lack of passion and genuine interest in what i'm doing. how do i rekindle that passion? will i constantly fight and struggle to just be interested in this field of life?
oh yeah. hello uncle wann. yes, i'm complaining again. i like to complain. it helps me release stress.
i've been living everyday with blinkers on. i'm just going through the motions. reliving each day like the last. there doesn't seem to be any meaning to what i'm doing. i don't see what i'm doing. i don't experience it. i don't enjoy it. why? where has my zest for life gone? day in and day out, it's the same old thing all over again.
had a talk with a friend the other day and i've come to realise that i know all the right things to say but never really apply it to my life. i know how to tell people the right things to do and how to lead and encourage them, but in my own life, i'm empty. i see no point in following my own advice. it just doesn't seem to work for me. bloody hypocrite i am.
FIGHT GRACE! FIGHT!
just because we canWednesday, October 17, 2007
37 days.
thirty seven days.
THIRTY SEVEN DAYS.
that's how long more before i'm home. before i'm back in the land of all the best foods, the land of all the best friends, the land of beds that magically get made, the land of food being on the table without me making it, the land of my parents and family.
der yin just said she misses me on her blog.
i miss the way she says 'jie jie der wen'. with the wen being a little bit longer than usual. so it's like 'wennn'.
gosh.
37 days.
and in that 37 days i'll have to sit for the worst exam of the year. i need help. i'm so tired of studying, so tired of living this life, so tired of just living for passing exams and stressing over results and getting palpitations and anxiety attacks.
i'm whinging again. i need to stop whinging. someone tell me to stop whinging.
hope brisbane church had their annual church dinner on monday night. had a buffet style dinner. call me a glutton, but i ended up with heartburn again that night. and again last night. and again right now. i don't know what's going on. can't be i'm eating too much. all i had for dinner was soup, asparagus and bread. and lots of juice. and fruits.
Judah 6 lifegroup
christine.joyce.me.ying wei
daniel.zk.me.elena.ying wei.dexter.richard
thirty seven days.
THIRTY SEVEN DAYS.
that's how long more before i'm home. before i'm back in the land of all the best foods, the land of all the best friends, the land of beds that magically get made, the land of food being on the table without me making it, the land of my parents and family.
der yin just said she misses me on her blog.
i miss the way she says 'jie jie der wen'. with the wen being a little bit longer than usual. so it's like 'wennn'.
gosh.
37 days.
and in that 37 days i'll have to sit for the worst exam of the year. i need help. i'm so tired of studying, so tired of living this life, so tired of just living for passing exams and stressing over results and getting palpitations and anxiety attacks.
i'm whinging again. i need to stop whinging. someone tell me to stop whinging.
hope brisbane church had their annual church dinner on monday night. had a buffet style dinner. call me a glutton, but i ended up with heartburn again that night. and again last night. and again right now. i don't know what's going on. can't be i'm eating too much. all i had for dinner was soup, asparagus and bread. and lots of juice. and fruits.
Judah 6 lifegroup
christine.joyce.me.ying wei
daniel.zk.me.elena.ying wei.dexter.richardi find it hard to understand sometimes how people can be so blaise and indifferent about life and about how things go about. they never seem to be frazzled by the everyday occurrences, good or bad that pass their way. i envy them. i tend to worry unnecessarily. and blow things way out of proportion all the time. i just can't seem to let sleeping dogs lie or just let things pass me by without kicking up a big fuss over why such things happen to me.
someone teach me to be less stressed out over small matters and to just enjoy my life.
i'm looking for the magic in my life. i think it's time i deserve some magic.
someone teach me to be less stressed out over small matters and to just enjoy my life.
i'm looking for the magic in my life. i think it's time i deserve some magic.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Saturday, October 13, 2007
it's a saturday night.
i'm at home.
on a saturday night.
something's wrong.
and i'm bored. and too lazy to think of things to type, so i'm just gonna make this a random picture post.
grocery store aisle
mint jelly shots
hanging on for dear life
sunshine
my fish. before they died.
i like chairs
homemade garlic bread
sunlight through liquer filled bottles
be my valentine?
dr. who?
belly dancer
my boots
*muaks*
pore pack filled with gunk
pretty chocolates
spring's here
pelicans in a row
pumping air into soo yi's car tires
bobble head shrek
till i get more inspiration...
i'm at home.
on a saturday night.
something's wrong.
and i'm bored. and too lazy to think of things to type, so i'm just gonna make this a random picture post.
grocery store aisle
mint jelly shots
hanging on for dear life
sunshine
my fish. before they died.
i like chairs
homemade garlic bread
sunlight through liquer filled bottles
be my valentine?
dr. who?
belly dancer
my boots
*muaks*
pore pack filled with gunk
pretty chocolates
spring's here
pelicans in a row
pumping air into soo yi's car tires
bobble head shrek
till i get more inspiration...
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