something about weddings going on one after another all in the same place.
i think it's because i saw 5 different wedding processions while taking a walk in the QUT gardens on saturday. i wish there were such things in KL. parks and gardens to walk in. takes my mind off very messy and stressful matters.
alsoin the dream, i kept going to the toilet and people kept barging in when i'm doing my business.
hello? knock much?
i think it was due to the running out of toilet tissue in my own toilet.
or something of the sort.
assignments.
i'm neck deep in them right now. all to save my ass for this surgery rotation. apparently doing assignments well will actually help you pass the final exam. so i'm all for it. i'm an assignment girl. i like assignments. if they weren't so tedious. rawr.
so the maid's gone in my house in KL. something about her father dying and her going back and then her husband making up stories about her being in a car accident and her not wanting to come back and all that drama. such a sad thing because i really liked her. she was like, the only indonesian maid that i really liked. i could talk to her. i could laugh with her. i could cry and she would comfort me as well. this doesn't usually happen with my older indon maids. but this girl was nice. sad that she didn't want to come back and felt that she had to lie to actually get away. oh well...looks like beds won't be magically made when i head back home. neither will my clothes be pressed to perfection.
so, i'm falling sick again. i think it's due to the weather. it's been hot and cold for the longest time now. it's blistering during the day and bone-chilling at night. hello? what happened to summer?
sisters at home are stressing as well. models to hand up. exams to sit for. will a student's life never end? especially in the fields that we have chosen. medicine. architecture. law. all constantly learning subjects.
was eating at this asian restaurant one of the days and the owner has become a good friend of mine. so we were talking and she was telling me about her son who was also a doctor here in brisbane. he had previously studied for 4 years to be a physiotherapist. after that, he studied another 4 years to become a doctor. and now, he's studying to be a paediatrician. and after that, he wants to subspecialise in congenital diseases. wow. thinking about it makes me tired. i mean, i know medicine is a life-long learning profession, but sir, don't you feel tired? i know most people would see it as bettering one's self and constantly upgrading the ol' brain. but is that the path people would willingly take? i'm sure after a certain point, burnout occurs. the mind just refuses to take in anymore input. i know it happens to me, and maybe it's because i'm lazy but i think it's also due to the lack of passion and genuine interest in what i'm doing. how do i rekindle that passion? will i constantly fight and struggle to just be interested in this field of life?
oh yeah. hello uncle wann. yes, i'm complaining again. i like to complain. it helps me release stress.
i've been living everyday with blinkers on. i'm just going through the motions. reliving each day like the last. there doesn't seem to be any meaning to what i'm doing. i don't see what i'm doing. i don't experience it. i don't enjoy it. why? where has my zest for life gone? day in and day out, it's the same old thing all over again.
had a talk with a friend the other day and i've come to realise that i know all the right things to say but never really apply it to my life. i know how to tell people the right things to do and how to lead and encourage them, but in my own life, i'm empty. i see no point in following my own advice. it just doesn't seem to work for me. bloody hypocrite i am.
FIGHT GRACE! FIGHT!
just because we can
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