welcome, one and all, to another episode of...

FISH-TRAUMA-RAMA!

yuuuupp...you guessed it ladies and gentlemen..

the fish jumped yet again!

and this time, not into the adjacent pond, noooo sireee...but right onto dry land. YOU HEARD IT RIGHT! onto DRY LAND!

and it just lay there. for urhm...a fair bit of time i'm guessing.

you see, here's what happened.

i was having my sunday afternoon snooze, all up there in dreamland dreaming things that people do in dreamland when suddenly, i was rudely awakened by very rapid, staccato-like raps on my door. so i very groggily said..

'what?'
'JIE! YOU HAVE TO COME DOWN! NOW!!'
'why?'
'THE BIG FISH JUMPED OUT OF THE POND AND IT'S ON THE GROUND!'
'WHAAAAAAAAAAATT??'

then with an incredible burst of speed, i leaped up from my bed, almost hitting my ceiling fan in the process and scrambled to the door.

but then i remembered.

i headed to the toilet to do what i remembered to do.

'EH! STILL NEED TO GO TOILET ARRH??'
'i need to wear a bra right?'

*swt*

after all that, we rushed down and lo and behold. there it was. our ever so great, so big, so scary and so incredibly stupid fish. lying on the grass in front of our pagola.

apparently, uncle choy was having his evening walk and passed by our house when he noticed the really unusual sight of a fish out of water and proceeded to ring our doorbell till the cows came home.

which leads us now, to the FISH itself.

there it was. just lying there in all it's gruesome glory. it's tribal-carved-like face staring at us. taunting us.

'try and get me back in the pond. yeah..come on. i dare you'

it seemed to be saying. but of course, us being really scaredy pussies just stood there gawking at it like dumb chickens. and of course, taking pictures (click it. come on, i dare you) with it. i mean, come on, who could not be tempted. but it was scary of course. oh-so-scary.

we suddenly got the thought that it might be dead. since fish can't really breathe out of water. but then, i remembered that these fish could curl up in the mud of the amazon river where it originates during the dry spells and continue breathing. this is so, because they just happen to be, air-breathers. in the water, they come up for air to breathe.

but then, my sister, esther, got the hose and started watering it. and it quite frankly just suddenly came to life. it gasped for a few lungfuls of air and in the process, gained back quite a fair bit of it's energy. and what happened then? with it's newly regained energy, it started thrashing around on the ground! oh gosh..it was freakishly frightening. really. it just thrashed and flipped and flopped and it even changed direction! one minute it was facing the gate, which i think is north, and then it did a complete 180 degree turn and turned to face the house. which is of course, south of the gate.

and guess what we did?

we started jumping around and screaming like a bunch of headless banshees out for blood. i swear you could hear us from all the way in taipan.

two men were walking side-by-side in taipan, talking..
'hey..do you hear that?'
'hmm...faintly. what do you think it is?'
'i think it's a bunch of headless banshees'
they then proceed to continue on walking.

don't judge us. you there! the one with the bug-eyed glasses. yeah you. i know what you're thinking. stop it. you weren't here. you can't judge me. loser.

so, we jumped up and down and screamed till our throats were sore, and all the while, uncle choy kept coming up with ideas about how to try and get it in but never daring. 'cos methinks he was a weeeee bit scared too. but we heart you uncle choy and thanks for being here.

so, after a few more leaps and jumps, our hero arrived. in the form of my dad's indonesian foreman.

note:
my daddy's actually our real hero but he was in church, attending a board leader's meeting. so he couldn't rush back either since he had no car

so, there he came, putting on his motorcycle and when he arrived, he parked it, swished his helmet off and said

'bawa itu guni'

our very timid yet, really nice maid was standing in the sidelines holding the gunny sack and shaking like a pile of leaves.

she held it out to him, he took out his wallet and handphone, threw them on the ground and took the gunny sack. he threw it over the fish, who i think was beginning to see his short burst of freedom coming to an end, and proceeded to carry him back into the pond. but not before the fish put up the biggest struggle of it's life. and only after thrashing around and slapping our hero on his face, body and arms, did he get dumped back, albeit very unceremoniously, into the pond.

'wah...you macho lar'

what an ordeal. pheww..

it completely SUCKS to be a woman.

i repeat.

it SUCKS!

seriously.

i was walking and shopping at Petaling Street the other day with my mum and after a whole afternoon of walking and sweating and bargaining and brushing and bumping into smelly, sweaty, disgustingly ugly people, we went home. and in the car, mum said this..

"looks like it's going to pour eh? ah....can go home and rest and have ONE pineapple tart."

rewind.

ONE PINEAPPLE TART.

i looked at her and said,

"it sucks being a woman huh?"

and she nodded her head sadly.

it's so completely sad what we women have to go through.

first, there's the whole body image thing. ok, i know that we shouldn't conform and be happy they way we are because we're all made differently and in the image of God, but then again. do you think God would look like a fat blimp, the size of Australia? i mean, hello?

ok, i'm sounding waaaaaaaay too bimbotic for my liking.

but really, to maintain appearances, we women go through all sorts of shit to look good. we diet, we exercise, (and if you're anything like me, it doesn't help. at all.), we squeeze ourselves into really tight clothes that are supposedly 'in fashion', we do our hair, we buy ridiculously high shoes, (but that's a plus, and a priviledge, of course), and the most suckiest of all, we get period cramps, hot flashes, mood swings and pimple breakouts.

sigh...

you can tell by now, that i'm not a happy camper.

i've got cramps.

both in my tummy and in my mood.

i made fajitas tonight. beef and chicken, so that my sisters who are really picky eaters could have a choice. and stupid me, didn't check the nutrition information until AFTER i ate 1 and a half pieces of tortilla bread. it's SUPER DUPER HIGH IN CARBO! crap.

i also made tuna potato salad and stuffed mushrooms.

so, i'm off now to exercise my butt off. literally. it's growing to size of the whole american continent.

i currently have 7, count 'em...7 bruises. yeah.

not 1..not 2..3? yeah right..not even 4, 5, hardly, 6, gimme a break, but 7.

7 major bruises all around my legs.

and i don't even remember how i got half of them.

i've got one on my shin, two around my left knee, another 2 on my thighs one on the dorsum of my foot and one major one on my hip.

sigh...

i know i got the ones on my shin and knees when i was running up the spiral staircase. my sisters and i were alone at home at that time and they were bugging me to cook lunch for them. so i very nicely went and cooked them lunch. oh..did i mention we were having a grey's anatomy marathon? yeah..so, i rushed all the way up since i didn't wanna miss any bit of it. and guess what? i tripped on the 2nd last step of the spiral staircase and the bowl of noodles that i had cooked went flying outta my hands. don't ask what happened next.

sigh...

then a couple of days ago, i was hooking up my laptop to my printer and had to squeeze in between a table and a cupboard. so after hooking it up, i stood up and banged my hip straight into the table. ow. so now i've got a really angry looking bruise on my hip.

AND...

guess what happened this morning.

daddy and mummy were sending me to work and stopped at the end of the road so that he didn't have to turn in. so, i got down from the car, closed the door, and suddenly just slipped and fell. i can just picture in my head how my parents must have been going like..'whaa??' when they could at first clearly see me walking away from them and suddenly just disappear from sight. so, why did i fall? well, my slip in sandals broke. and when i took a step forward in them, i slipped, fell, and twisted my knee in a weird angle.

now i've got a strawberry mark on my other knee.

jolly good.

i am such a klutz...

speaking of strawberries, i made strawberry cupcakes last night. parents said it was too sweet. that means, it's perfect. =)

take one part sweat, stir in with 2 parts eyebags (due to lack of sleep), then add in 5 parts burnt fingers and mix in 2 parts tired legs and what do you get?

LASAGNA!

today was and still is my parents' 23rd anniversary

1, 2, 3...times 5 divided by 8 equals....23! ok, correct!


decided to make them dinner. sisters and i wanted to make it all romantic like how we did it for them during valentine's but then it turned out to be a normal family dinner. how boring.

decided to try making lasagna for the first time. and i think it turned out quite ok.

ok, i'm gonna tell you guys a secret.

the lasagna sheets i used were bought about half a year ago and have been sitting in the pantry for quite a bit.

so, today when i took them out to cook it, a whole bunch of weird looking ants came tumbling out too! and some actually got stuck and died in between the lasagna sheets! eeyieeer! it sounds quite gross and it looked even grosser.

*is there such a word? grosser?*

but then...while i was looking at it...

*thoughts fly back to eons ago*

i remembered that one time when i was helping daddy cook, actually cooked noodles that had these bugs in them before as well and when he boiled them, the bugs just floated off and died.

so, i tried to do the same thing.

and thank God it worked.

yup, so, boil, boil, boil, die, die, die, strain, strain, strain, and then onto the lasagna plate.

i don't remember getting diarrhoea from daddy's bug-drained noodles, so i hope i won't get it this time. and even if anything happens, it'll happen to me. i've got the weakest, stupidest stomach in my family.

who's got diarrhoea?
jie jie

who's got food poisoning?
jie jie

who's vomiting?
jie jie

see..it's always me. i've got a weird gastrointestinal tract.

so, i cooked lasagna and made caesar salad.

and you all know how caesar salad has lettuce, bacon bits, cheese, croutons and sliced boiled eggs in it right?

well, i forgot the bacon bits and eggs and croutons.

mainly cause when i went to shop for the ingredients, i ran outta money so i couldn't buy bacon and croutons. eggs, i just totally forgot.

so, to make up for the croutons, i heated up oil in the wok and cut up bread into little cube sized bits and deep fried them. it worked wonderfully. instant croutons. but i might have left them a little to long in the oil and it kinda turned blackish. so...instant croutons became instant charcoal pills. whoopee.

for the bacon bits, i tried to be smart. we had spam in the fridge and what i did was i sliced it really finely and fried them. till they were crispy and crunchy. turned out alright. didn't taste like bacon bits, but it made do.

talk about improvising.

but my salad was a hit and everything was eaten up. i even had to make seconds. not bad. oh and i made my own sauce as well. not baaaaaaaaaad.

happy anniversary mum and dad. love you guys.

starting to get worried.

although i know i shouldn't.

but i can't help it.

WHERE'S THE FRIGGIN' EMAIL THAT'S SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME MY STUDENT NUMBER?

sigh..

sarah and su-ann received their student number from UQ and i still haven't gotten mine. i hope i'm not the only one.

what if they got my email address wrong?

what if i end up in a weird, rural hospital while in queensland?

*what if i didn't get offered a place in UQ?*

...

so anyway, everyone's out.

they all went to get LB a new phone.

jolly good.

how did all this phone business come about hmm??

well, it all started when daddy's phone suddenly got infected by a virus, possibly due to receiving too many bluetooth messages or from an MMS. well, the virus caused daddy's phone to keep sending out MMSes. his contractors and friends from all over were getting MMSes from him but they couldn't open it. of course, daddy didn't know. but when his bill came, it was sky-high from all the MMSes he sent.

apparently this all began when i tried to send an MMS of a picture of my sisters and i to a cousin of mine in Australia.

oh...they're back.

she got a sony ericsson phone. will let HER blog about it.

so, back to the story. well, daddy went to get it checked out and yeah, it turned out to be a virus. so, he had to use my phone for a while.

there are about 4 old handphones lying around my house. 2 nokias and 2 samsungs. i'm using one of the old flip samsungs. i WAS previously using both the nokias, but i clogged them up with too many messages that i didn't want to erase, so i had to keep switching phones. so, the flip samsung is the latest one.

so, daddy's phone got fixed today and i got my flip back.

but...

for LB to get her new handphone, she had to trade in one of the old nokias.

sigh...

here's the sad part.

all my messages from my love, had to be deleted.

70 messages.

70 of the sweetest messages i've ever received.

all gone.

sigh...

so now LB's got a new phone.

my maid's changing my bedsheets today.

i guess i should be thankful that i at least HAVE a maid to change and wash my sheets.

but i don't like it that she changes it so often.

i think it's like she changes them every fortnight.

call me disgusting, but i kinda like my sheets to be on my bed for more than 2 weeks.

just when i've soften them and they've got my own smell, it goes into the wash and new sheets with the harsh sudsy, soappowderish smell meet my body every time i lie in bed.

i don't like.

i like sheets with my own smell.

ok, i'm not as disgusting as all that to want my sheets on forever so that i smell my own smell but leave them on at least for a month yeah?

...

have been getting really bad nights lately.

been plagued by really bad dreams, really weird dreams or just plain waking up in the middle of the night for no reason.

one of the earlier bad dreams that i've been having was one where a friend whom i no longer talk to anymore, appears in it.

won't go into details of how we become UN-friends, but just know enough that it was a tiny matter, which i blew way outta proportion. sigh...i miss my friend.

so my friend appears in it and we just started talking like it was when we WERE friends. and i woke up realising, i MUST call this friend before i head over to australia. must at least patch things up. if not recement the friendship, at least just become 'hi-bye' friends again.

i am losing my mind!!

OMG!!

the one thing i absolutely hate is the freaking renovation that's going on behind my house.

and the one thing i absolutely hate is how they build up walls, and beams and stuff that hold up houses and then proceed to BREAK THEM DOWN AGAIN!!

the noise is just absolutely driving me crazy.

you would think they'd know how to draw up a house, build it and then not tear it down again. IT IS a COMPLETE waste of money to keep building and tearing it down. not to mention time consuming since they'll continue at it till GOD knows when.

i'm annoyed and i'm bored. but there's a possibility of me getting a proper paying job in a whileeeeee....

it is time for me to come back

so...

HERE I AM!

yeah..so it's been quite a while since i last updated.

really sorry.

but been very very very very laaaaazy...

*grin*

so there have been many many things that have been happening since my last post.
don't think i wanna go into details.
mainly cos i don't really remember them.
hahaha..
but..

significant events:
july:
my birthday

august:
der yin's birthday, threw her a nice surprise party

september:
ky-vern's wedding.
very very significant.
SOME pics are up on my multiply. not much..and mostly of my sisters and pam and me.
was a wonderful wedding.
sigh..i wish it didn't have to end.

and now..i'm working.
for domino's.
not as a pizza maker.
i'm more of a data entry, mindless typing kinda girl.

not working this week.
i've got a sty in my eye.
yeah..a sty.
can't remember the last time i had one.
but i DO remember the last time der lyn had one.
woah...had to go for minor surgery.
local anaesthetic and all.
was fascinating.
for me lar..cos i think i might be part sadistic.
the dr had to flip her eyelid inside out and burst the sty.
*pssht*
the pus literally flew out. yuck.

so went for olivia's surprise birthday party last sunday night.
good time. good time.
laughed till my cheek muscles were hurting at the end of the night.

it's time for me to grow up.