my car ran out of petrol today. pushed it right to the limit deep in the red. thought i'd go about filling it up after group discussion this afternoon. but it wouldn't even start up. it would fire up and then 'put put put' it'd die.

great.

had to go to the gas station and BUY a tin to FILL up with petrol. bloody tin cost 10 bucks and would only fill up to 5 litres. bleh.

i'd always wonder what it'd be like for the car to just run out of petrol and refuse to start up. i read about it in books and watch it being played out in movies. and i'd always think to myself. 'how could these people be so stupid as to drive, drive, drive and then NOT notice that the fuel gauge is heading below the red?'.

well, i guess i'm one of them stupid people. thank goodness the petrol station was just down the road.

this is what i get for trying to wait til it's cheap petrol wednesday to fill up my tank.

exams on thursday and friday. obstetrics and gynaecology. 2 osce stations and one 300 T/F paper. can someone say 'die'?

*grabs scissors and stabs own eyes*

drives to hospitals are usually the time when i have my daily conversations in my head. i figured, since i'm on the road and i'm free to turn around and drive anywhere i want once i've decided, it's a good way to make decisions.

but i know i'm really tired when i'm having my conversation in my head and i get round to the subject of shopping and i straightaway veto it no.

but it's a good sort of tired.

was in the hospital birthing suite with a mother til 2 am last night. but once that got done, a huge boulder lifted from my shoulders.

4 babies. delivered, done and dusted.

i know 4 deliveries doesn't sound like much, but when you're competing with other medical students and midwife students, it's not very easy.

i'm suddenly thinking very hard about having normal deliveries. it's not easy at all.

so the last bribe worked. i managed to get 2 babies.

bribery 2.0

hopefully this time round, it'll get me another 2.

days of being a couch potato and lying in bed doing nothing has taken it's toll.

flabby arms. check.
tummy wobble. check.
jiggly thighs. check.
splitting headache. check

this is what happens when you take

six parts laziness to go to the gym with one part oncoming period and two parts looming exams and endless counts of a big bed and room.

simple equation. simple result.

for those ladies who say

'oh...i can eat anything i want and never grow fat. hehehe...'

or

'i wish i could just put on a couple of kilos...'

LIARS! (i would normally use a stronger sounding expletive. but due to the recent phone calls from the mother frantically asking what the matter is or why i'm using such strong a.k.a. foul language, i shall be PG)

you're all anorexics and bulimics who either STARVE yourselves or binge to the point of guilt and then PURGE/VOMIT it all out again.

you can tell that i'm not in a good mood.

my life....stinks.

omg i think i'm the worst girlfriend ever la.

i'm short tempered, i'm irrational, i jump to conclusions, i can't handle stress and therefore take it out on him. =(

i suck. i so need to get a grip on myself.

and another thing.

i was having a chat with him earlier and somehow, it was during the documentary hour where sir david attenborough was talking about mammals in the water. and while talking to him, otters were being featured! and i tell you, anyone who's seen documentaries on otters will KNOW how cute they are. especially when they're cracking large pipis on rocks balanced on their tummies while floating on their backs. and throughout the whole conversation, i was just watching it and dumbly grunting replies to him. he eventually gave up talking to me and relinquished me to the television

i suck. i so need to make it up to him.

even my mother has said that the television is my very best friend. my earliest memories are while i'm sitting in front of the television and episodes of sesame street come fleetingly to mind. even right now, i'm typing this very sporadically as it's interspersed with glancing at the television as dolphins are being featured right now. did you know that there are dolphins in the ganges river in india? and because the water is so murky, they've evolved to become completely blind and solely rely on their sonar to find fish? cool eh?

i love docos.

oh..and i love him too. muaks muaks to you sayang.

decided to give my pins a workout this morning and walked 5 kms to and fro from the supermarket to get some groceries. that's something i will never attempt again. especially on an empty stomach. start getting headachy and nauseous about 500 metres from the supermarket. when i finally reached there, i headed straight for the bakery and bought myself a croissant. things started to look much clearer from then on.

so, i believe in subtle bribery.

baked some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and banana cake to sweeten the palate of the midwives i will be facing on wednesday night. have YET to deliver a baby independantly. bloody midwife students constantly butt in and grab all the cases before we the medical students have the chance.

before

after

it's a bit hard to actually satisfy these women. for all their love of everything sweet, they still will harangue me and ask if i've used unsalted butter, or low fat milk or wholemeal flour. geez. it's all a no, but i tell them all it's a yes. have to placate their guilty conscience somehow.

banana cake

but on that thread, i'm amazed to see how many of them are very aware of what they eat and their portions are minute! i have to admit that i've been eating MORE than they have and STILL they're the size they are. makes me wonder about genetics. loving that i'm chinese right now. but still, some of their ways have rubbed off on me. whenever i go grocery shopping nowadays, i tend to look at the nutrition facts box at the back, side or bottom of the item. counting calories has become a way of life for me and eliminating anything that has slightly too high a calorie or fat content has become a bit of an obsession.

there're so many alternatives to normal. fat-full, calorie-full foods nowadays and honestly, they taste JUST as good. and even fresh produce now can be genetically enhanced to be less fat, or more vitamins or what not. eggs even can be injected with multivitamins! and cheese! there's probiotic cheese, there's lactose-free cheese. gracious. i wonder, will there ever be a fat-free fried chicken? hahah...i hardly think so. very soon, i believe that everything we eat will be so 'healthy' that there won't be a need for the supermarkets to stock up on fat-full, normal 'unhealthy' food.

but without all these normal food, will my char kuey teow taste the same? or my mcdonald's burger? or my baskin robbins ice cream?

i wonder.

i have this bad sneaky habit of doubting happiness. i always think that if something really good happens, something really bad is on it's way and the good bit just acts as a buffer.

take a couple of weeks back. i can't really remember them now. but three really great things happened to me, back to back. and one night when i was out 'celebrating' with a friend, i had this sneaky, suspicious feeling that the end of it, wasn't going to be good.

things were all good until last week. and i literally mean the WHOLE week was quite misfortuitous. and it kept coming at me like a sledgehammer breaking up concrete. every morning i would pray, "God please take control of the day" and maybe it's His way of teaching me and disciplining me, but nothing went right for me throughout the week.

i was in quite the doldrums, to say the least.

that night, when i was out celebrating over dinner, and i told my friend about this premonition i had, she cut me short and said, "stop it grace. don't do that. don't feel that you have to be guilty over being happy" and it made me think. do any of us REALLY feel grateful that we're happy? because, isn't it when we're suffering that we truly appreciate what's good around us? and isn't it when we're unhappy that we tend to long for those ever elusive happy times? and isn't it when we're completely down on ourselves and in that little black hole that is our mind, that we really start to cry out to Him and rely on Him?

i don't know. maybe.

i'm crying out.

i hate mullets. they look horrible. i was on a bus the other day on the way to hospital and i saw this guy with a mullet. and it ruined the rest of my day.

i'm of the opinion that if i start my day off by seeing something happy or nice while on the way to work, the rest of the day will be good. but then, i saw that guy with the mullet.

oh that acursed thing. i have NO IDEA why guys want to keep mullets. to look tough? dude, you look half sissy, half weird with that hairdo. it's neither here nor there. yuck. please, grow out of the 80's and cut your hair. and this was some OLD FAG ok! like he was still trying desperately to hold on with the edges of his ratty, bitten down fingernails to his youth. spoilt my day.

then...

i had to pass by krispy kremes donuts to get to the connecting bus stop. and i haven't had them in AGES! i knew i was allowed at least one! but then my head said to my tummy. no. you can't have them. your hips won't thank you. your chicken wings won't either. sigh...so i girded myself up, and SHUT MY NOSE SO THAT THE SMELL WOULDN'T TEMPT ME! and i succeeded!

i reached the bus stop and there were these 2 old men standing outside carrying a whole bunch of knick knacks in bright happy yellow! so to cheer myself up, i thought, hmm, maybe i'll buy something from them to make me happy. they were selling daffodils, bright yellow and happy, pens, brooches and keychains. i asked how much the flowers were and was slightly taken aback. 5 stems for 5 bucks. eek. and they only came in that sized bunch. so i switched. maybe i'll buy a pen. since it's more useful. so i picked one up and asked how much it was. 5 bucks. eek. i couldn't put it down now since i've already picked it up. it'd seem rude if i just decided to LEAVE after their smiles and kindly eyes beckoned me. ish. so i bought the pen. and they said thank you. written on the pen was daffodil day. i had no idea what it meant. but later found out that it was for the cancer council and the money raised from selling those knick knacks were to be donated. ok la...at least the money i saved from buying a donut went into donating to the cancer council.

sheesh. just as i was patting myself on the back for money well spent.

my dear friend,

the day came when you decided to stand up for yourself and not back down.

i'm proud of you.

it was a difficult step to take what with all the history and stepping stones laid down, but you did it anyway because you knew that it was the right thing to do.

your heart is something that you should never take lightly dear one. even though right now, it might be in too many a piece that you care it to be, do not be disheartened. for we, your friends will be the glue to help piece it back together.

remember that you are loved.

and remember that no matter what, we will always stand by you.

love you, dear heart.

It’s a Saturday morning and I’m reading a magazine in my room while waiting to hear the washing machine sing me its song to let me know that the laundry’s done. And while reading the magazine, I came across this article written by this guy that says that girls shouldn’t be so uppity and tense about how they look because individuality is key. I’m summarizing. This is basically the gist of it all.

It got me to thinking. We spend countless hours in front of the mirror, putting on the perfect flawless face (think foundation, concealer, blush, eyeliner, eyeshadow, fake lashes and mascara), sweat out our glands to within an inch of their lives in the gym, cry as we pay for that ‘I really need that top to look good’ top and shave our legs, arms, pubes and tweeze our eyebrows just so that we can look…just like everyone else.

We’re told which clothing brand to wear, what kind of fashion is ‘hip’ now, which lotion gives the illusion of longer legs and which hairdo that is all the rage right now, and yet, we don’t tell ourselves that we are beautiful however we look. Be it tall, short, more round than tall, more meat than bones, slightly wonky eyes and slightly fanged teeth. We’re so constantly trying to mold ourselves into looking ‘perfect’ that we fail to already see the perfection that we are. We’re all running after that illusive dream of looking like our favourite star and dressing like that glamorous model. When all we really want to do is be comfortable. Who, honestly in their right mind would want to shimmy into a pair of skintight jeans and walk around in 4 inch heels? They’re all doing it because they THINK that’s what people want and demand. It’s so sad to think of all the little girls nowadays who are so much more influenced and exposed to the cattiness and rat-race of the world. They’re starting to grow up younger. They’re reaching the point of their 30’s when they’re in their early 20’s. And to be frank, with the lifestyle that they’re emulating to adopt, they’re starting to look it too.

That being said, there’s also this ABSURD need to be OVERLY-INDIVIDUAL. Some people would go to enormous lengths JUST to look different and I don’t think that should be the way as well. Now see here, I’m not being all guru about all this yeah..i’m just saying what I’m thinking. I’m not pin-pointing or singling out anyone. It’s just verbal-diarrhoea. Continuing on that vein, I’m talking about people who would purposely lead their lives purposely standing out JUST to be noticed and by doing that, isn’t that ultimately the same as trying to fit in and be like everyone else? It’s all just wanting to be socially accepted and recognized.

I have been somewhat of a recluse lately. Choosing to stay in with a book or watch a dvd rather than hanging out with people and getting wasted. But that’s because I feel comfortable with what I’m doing. I don’t have to go out there to prove that I’m hip and cool by being with other people whose attention or assurance or opinions I need. No one should ever have to do that. Sure we have people that influence us more than others but no one should ever have the right to dictate your life. Just be you. That already-perfect-in-my-skin you.

i was recently 'chastised' for writing something on my blog which was deemed inappropriate and would potentially cause trouble for the said person involved.

it was never my intention to do so. i was merely expressing my opinions and also to encourage that said person in what he/she was doing.

as it turns out shame on me. since it backfired and he/she saw it in a different light.

which brings me to question. has blogging become so superficial and such a norm that every little thing that is said in it could be used as fodder for fuel? it's ridiculous. i mean, i've even heard of employers who have their employees checked up on the internet. specifically, for their blogs. i understand that when a person has a blog, the whole idea is to put your life on display, in a way. to be put under the microscope and to be read/judged openly. but really, do we have to be so careful as to FILTER what we write JUST IN CASE someone sees it and uses it against us? whatever happened to freedom of speech? and the ability to express feelings, emotions and thoughts openly? NO ONE should dictate what one can or cannot do. especially with one's own blog and life. it's just preposterous. in that case, everyone should go around wearing strings for the puppetmaster to manipulate.

i was told that i'm being naive and that i should wake up and realise that people can harm you and they would go to many lengths just to do so. maybe i AM being naive and i should learn that life is a rat race. and that people would do anything to get ahead. i'll be out in the working world soon. maybe i should start gearing myself up for that. learn how to step on people's toes to get where i want to be. backstab people just to get ahead. climb over people's heads just to reach the top. in simpler terms. i should just be like everybody else.

bullshit.

the sister came and went. it was a whirlwind of a weekend, what with me trying to take her to visit as many places as possible and her trying to soak up as much vitamin D and catch as many Zs as she can. whoosh.

jie, i want to eat chinese food.

chinese restaurant. see the chinese spoon and half a chinese teacup?

jie, i want to go shopping.

where else, but harbourtown.

jie, i'm bored. let's do something fun. LIKE JIGSAW PUZZLES!

i rue the day i bought that jigsaw puzzle set. it was damn hard to do.

jie, i want the sun.

nah...sun.

jie, i'm hungry.

dim sum ok with you?

jie, let's get our face painted!

damn layan la.

jie, now i won't leave until we win a toy.

big enough toy?

jie! got duck!


no, i cannot catch the duck for you.

jie, let's take lotsa pictures.









=)

burping contests. taking stupid photos. making silly faces. eating so much food until we almost died. laughed until we cried. having so much fun, we didn't want the days to end.

i miss her already.


FASTER COME BACK AND VISIT FOR A LONGER TIME LA!

call me...

THE BARGAIN QUEEN.


2 minutes rummaging through discount bins have proven fruitful.

these 3 pairs of shoes you see, cost me 30AUD overall. not each.

very happy la. cos i need new black shoes since my plain black shoes all died on me due to the countless kilometers of walking and running around.

...

ekka is coming. don't really know what it is. but it seems to be some sort of carnival fair-type thing. with animals and rides and games and food and such. thought it might be a fun occasion for the SISTER to come over and she is! wheee!! joy of joys. really haven't spent enough time with her. it'll be a full 3 days when she's here. on saturday, i'm planning on taking her shopping in harbourtown since she laments that she's been deprived and hasn't had the time to fulfil her insatiable fashionista appetite. harbourtown would be just the place for her i reckon. full of bargains and pretty little things that she adores. then on sunday, i'm taking her to church and then to ekka just for a look see. in the evening, maybe we'll go have a nice dinner overlooking the river or something. and then on monday, we'll just walk around the city and then it's back to melbourne for her.

...

obs and gynae is proving to be quite interesting. although i know now, that i will never want to specialise in it anymore. gone are my childish dreams of delivering my girlfriends' babies. no thank you. not after what happened last friday night.

i was on graveyard shift at the birthing suite and i thought as it was a friday night, it would be exciting and filled with ladies lining up to pop out their babies.

i was oh-so-wrong.

i got there at 10.30 and was just in time for the handover session from the nurses of the previous shift. after being assigned to a midwife, we went in to see the patient on her list. who happened to have been in labour for the past day. and i swear. it was the longest labour ever. the afternoon before she was admitted, her waters broke, but when she got to the hospital, she wasn't dilated enough. so they told her to go home. the next morning, she came back in and they finally admitted her and induced her to speed up her labour. by the afternoon, it wasn't going anywhere. and by evening, she was dilated to about 5-6 cms. hurrah. step in the right direction. by midnight, after 2 hours of just sitting there, staring at her sleep while her contractions came and went, she was dilated to 7 cms. oh lordy was it taking forever. she was chock full of painkillers to numb her contractions and so she slept through it all. at 2.30am, we checked and finally, she was fully dilated to 10 cms. YES! finally. some action! i glanced at the clock. it's only 2. i'm supposed to be here til 8am. i should be able to see one more and hopefully, have a go at delivering it.

again. oh-so-wrong.

she wasn't ready to give birth yet as her baby's head hadn't descended properly. so again. we had to wait for another couple of hours. by 3.30, the midwife checked again and said she was good to go and that she could start pushing.

won't go into the details. but push she did. til she was literally purple in the face. but her baby wasn't coming out through the birth canal fast enough. after an hour of fruitless and i must say, very painful pushing, we had to call in the doctors for advice. they decided to use a vacuum cap to help pull the baby out while she pushed. as the minutes ticked by, and after pushing for, what i swear was an age, the mother finally cracked. she had been very placid and even tempered throughout the whole process until now.

'why's the epidural not working?! i f**king feel everything!!'

hee hee hoo hoo hee hee hoo hoo

'AAAAAARGHH!!!! get the hell out of me!'

hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo

husband wipes wife's forehead.

'can you NOT wipe my hair into my face?!'

hee hee hoo hoo hee hee hoo hoo

'OH! you're kicking me now aren't you! you little shit!'

hoo hoo hoo hee hee hee

husband gives her a drink of water.

'can you fill the cup up and not give me that little bit to suck?!?'

oh boy. it doesn't sound as bad as it does. it was actually quite comical. with the husband looking all flustered and trying to help but being extremely useless at it and the wife trying with all her might to push that baby out.

finally, with a seriously mighty ROAR, the mother pushed one last time and the baby was out!

it was honestly the most exhilarating things i'd witnessed. but also one of the most tiring. after cleaning the baby who weighed in at 9.8 pounds and was can't remember how long, but he was long, the mother finally got to cuddle and feed her baby. now that was a sight to behold. finally doing something right, the father went around taking pictures of mother and child.

by then, it was 5.30. the nurses took one look at me and told me to go home. that there would be nothing to see there for another 6 hours.

crap. so much for mothers lining the corridor.

i have recently taken to doing very auntie things. well, things that i thought were auntie to begin with. but then i realised, i'm not exactly the youngest of upperstarts nowadays. so then wat's wrong with doing auntie things. auntie things can be very useful wan you know. you get things out of it. not like young upperstart things where nothing good comes of it.

i ramble.

but back to auntie things that i've recently been doing.

i've been KNITTING!

yes! you didn't read wrong. it's K-N-I-T-T-I-N-G

and it's quite fun! except the crampy fingers after too long.


this is the product of my first attempt. =) made a similar one in grey for the pester sister.

say nice. must.

i woke up yesterday morning feeling extremely happy that i didn't have any clinics scheduled early in the morning. i rolled around and lazed in bed until i felt that i really DID need to get up. which was at about 10.30. quickly checked my timetable to make sure that i really didn't have anything on. true enough. but had a clinic on a 1. plenty of time, plenty of time.

dum dee dum dum..

had some cheese and crackers for breakfast while hopelessly trying to connect online. there's something wrong with my laptop. it keeps disconnecting. which annoys the hell out of me. ended up watching a dvd. anyhewwww...

11.30 came. jumped into the shower for a quick wash and after deciding what to wear and putting on my face, it was 12.25. walked down the stairs and remembered that i forgot my car keys. glanced at my wrist. crap, i forgot my watch was dead. got my car keys and almost tripped running down the stairs. opened the door and accidentally kicked something.

'what's that?'

little brown package with a red fragile sticker on the side.

'oooooh!'


little brown package with the name Grace Lau on the front. (okay la i was too excited forgot to take pic of the packaging before tearing off the paper)

RIIIIIPPP!


'EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!'

that's squealing by the way. in case you didn't get it.


i saw the box and i seriously couldn't stop grinning lorh! and was also continuously going

'oh my god. oh my god. oh my god. oh my god.'


isn't it the most beautiful thing ever? (i know got richer people with nicer looking ones with bling bling and shing shing all la. but don't burst my bubble please)


siiiiiigh. my heart is melt.

and to think the night before we had a little tiff due to my PMS-ing. and then this came. everything also ok already la!

i very happy =)

emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards

ancient romans believed that chickpeas to be a powerful aphrodisiac, especially for men

the size of your foot is approximately the size of your forearm

the only thing that can destroy a diamond is intense heat

on average, woman dream more than men

there are 34 bathrooms in the white house

the largest member of the cat family is the male lion weighing 240kg

the gastric juices of a snake can digest bones and teeth, but not fur or hair

the blow of a blue whale can reach over 12 meters in height

the short-term memory capacity of most people is between 5 and 9 items or digits

mickey mouse has four fingers on each hand

the average person spends 2 weeks of their life waiting for a traffic light to change

120 drops of water fill a teaspoon

the inca indians of panama tie a string of chillies on behind their boat to repel sharks

the largest pumpkin ever grown recorded a weight of 482kg

an eggshell has nearly 8000 pores that allow oxygen to flow in and carbon dioxide to flow out, allowing the chick to breathe

researchers claim that light green as a colour is effective in relieving the feeling of homesickness

an average person sheds about 750grams of skin per year

embryos of tiger sharks fight each other while in their mother's womb, the survivor being the baby shark that is born

ancient greek and roman men had an average lifespan of 36 years

a fear of dying laughing is called cherophobia

a baby grey whale consumes enough milk to fill more than 2000 bottles a day

there's something wrong with my comments box. i can get comments. but it doesn't show if there are any comments. weird.

how do i fix it?

yeah, i, tell you something,
i think you'll understand,
when i, say that something,
i wanna hold your hand,

i wanna hold your hand,
i wanna hold your hand.

oh please, say to me,
you'll let me be your man,
and please, say to me,
you'll let me hold your hand,

now let me hold your hand
i wanna hold your hand

and when i touch you,
i feel happy inside,
it's such a feeling that my heart,
i can't hide, i can't hide, i can't hide

yeah you, you got that something,
i think you'll understand,
when i, feel that something,
i wanna hold your hand,

i wanna hold your hand,
i wanna hold your hand,
i wanna hold your hand.

was talking to a friend just now who very casually bought a lottery ticket in hopes of winning at prize of 30 million australian dollars. i was very tempted to laugh in his face and go

'HAH! like you'll ever win.'

but i stopped myself before i could utter those words, thinking. hey, why bring him down? there's ALWAYS a possibility of winning. even though it's next to impossible, there's always hope. so he was thinking aloud, all the things he would buy if he wins the money. a house. a few cars. some well-placed properties here and there. travel. and then,

'what car do you like?'

huh?

'i'm gonna buy you a car.'

huhh?

'but it has to be red. like the one that you have now.'

huhhh??

'and with the red, i'm gonna make sure that it has black spots on it. so then i can officially call it the ladybug!'

WTF

'and i'm going to make the horn sound like the sound a ladybug makes. bzzzz. bzzzz. bzzzzzzz.'

only these kinda people will buy lottery tickets i tell you.

baby post of the day. why do babies get congratulated when they burp, pee and poop? and when they fart, people laugh and say 'oh! how cute!' i burp in public and i get nasty looks. when i say i need to pee, people say, 'pee la! like that also need to tell.' and when i need to poop, people go 'eeyier! come on la! don't have to let us know right?' moral of the story. if there's a baby around and you fart, blame it on the baby.

i'm off to soo yi's place. gonna accompany her while she TRIES to get her assignment done, which was due last friday. no sleep tonight, i won't get, no sleep tonight.

it's getting colder. the wind is starting to blow it's chilliness right into my bones. i struggle to sleep at night due to my colder than usual feet. everytime they starts to feel the slightest bit warmer, a draft suddenly appears from nowhere and freezes them up again. socks don't help. cos somehow, when i wake up in the morning, they're no longer on my feet.

...

was walking around the mall with soo yi earlier just now, and i couldn't help but notice that there seemed to be babies EVERYWHERE. i think there's just recently been a baby boom. not only here but also back home. where did they all come from? did we get hit by some sort of fertility wave that anyone who so much as THINKS of having a baby will suddenly find themselves with child? no, i'm not being cynical or bitter. i'm just jealous. maternal hormones are starting to take over my being even as i start to type this. i just can't help but feel slightly panicky over the fact that i'm 24 this year and that the promise i made myself to have my firstborn before i turn 30 is starting to catch up to me. holy schmoly! it's only 6 more years before i'm 30! i graduate end of the year, start working next year, TRY to build up a career and save SOME money in the next 5 years. it all suddenly seems like time is running out. so weird isn't it? on the other hand, these are supposed to be the best years of my life. i've got my youth, my energy, my vitality and all i can do is WORRY? i'm supposed to be enjoying myself, 'enjoying' my work and of course, enjoying my freedom of NOT having burdens like mortgages and debts to think about. but then, why do i feel as though i don't have that luxury?

last year, when i was back in kl, i attended 4 weddings. thank goodness, there wasn't a funeral. and this year, there's going to be at least 6 weddings to attend and these friends are all, give or take 2 years, around my age! hello bello? where did this sudden craze to get married come about? friends are shacking up together, having kids, getting married. and here i am, still studying. jolly good ol' fruit, i say.

this is how i feel right now. and i miss him.

it's been another couple of months since i last blogged. again it's boiled down to a WHOLE lot of laziness and just a little bit of busy-ness.

as previously logged, the boyfriend came to visit. was extremely happy for those very short 9 days. to put it in his words;

'it was as though i didn't have any worries. everything was perfect'

cliche? i think so too. but very true nonetheless.

so what do i have to do to revive a dying blog. at this point, you're probably going;

'oh no. it's another one of those "how to save my blog from it's diminishing readership" posts'

well, sucks to be you then, doesn't it?

i've joined a gym. if anyone cares. have been going everyday for the last week. except today. i've got a headache. feels like an elephant's stomping around in there. i've been wondering to myself if it's just the 'new brooms sweep clean' mentality i'm going through right now, since i've been going everyday. or could my subconscious be silently egging me on, cheering for me to change my very--what's that word? it's at the tip of my tongue but i can't seem to get it. come on, come on. SEDENTARY! that's it. my subconscious could be silently egging me to, cheering for me to change my very sedentary lifestyle in the hopes of reaching new heights of health and happiness. i don't get that phrase. people keep saying, healthy people are happy people. these 'people' obviously have never been to a gym. because when i'm there, the only kinds of people i see are the ones that are overweight, gritting their teeth and puffing out their very red cheeks trying to catch their breath. they don't look very happy to me. no siree. and have you ever encountered those people who are so regimented in their routine, that if you were coincidentally caught using a weight machine that is part of their routine at their OWN set time, they'd snarl at you and give you very dirty, scary looks, FORCING you to get off 'their' machine. no thank you. i'll just stick to the treadmill and the bicycle thank you very much.

so--why am i going to the gym again? i forgot.

anyone know of how to get rid of headaches? since panadol and nurofen doesn't seem to work for me.

so it's been 3 months since my last post. heh. sorry. been super lazy to update and type out things. especially since there were so many other things to do.

in no chronological order, i shall attempt to update all you guys with what's been happening the past 3 months.

i repeat, attempt.

ok, maybe i'll do it in monthly order.

DECEMBER

the very modern Christmas tree

went back to kl

found out i failed my surgery exam

spent the holiday studying, meeting up with friends, attending umpteen weddings (i wanna get married too), helping to PLAN weddings for THIS year, went to bali for a family holiday, put on a ton of weight, got roped into singing in the Christmas choir the instant i touched down, friend's birthdays, had the most awesome christmas eve and new year's eve party with best friends, fell in love.

siew pheng, me, vanessa, esther

me, baby alyssa and esther

at alicia's wedding, me, shine, vanessa, liming

congratulations adrian and isabel

the lau women

at one of the temples in bali

sisters

dad and mum

spaaaaaaaaa

at eugene's brithday dinner at 7ate9

at souled out on Christmas eve

with the girls on new year's eve

and boys

outside, after the fireworks

JANUARY

came back to australia, stressed myself silly over exam, stayed with cousin Caleb and his girlfriend, Shireen for a while since i was too chicken shit to stay alone with random people poking their heads into my window and walking around my garden, moved house, now staying with strangers whom i thoroughly like, started hospital rounds, fell more in love.

FEBRUARY

went camping in fraser island with Caleb and gang, cooked Chinese New Year reunion dinner, daddy came to visit, spent Valentine's day with family, bought a new camera, went to melbourne for a weekend, bought a car, drove to GC to see the sister, Esther during her transit to melbourne, met up with some old young friends, phebe and phyllis, who i used to babysit when i lived in ss15, the love's coming to visit in march. =)

after a very filling chinese new year reunion dinner

looking for our way on fraser island

taking a dip in lake mackenzie

lake mackenzie

rawr

my daddy in melbourne, typing an sms to my mummy

dad and me

kenneth and abby

jason and ahkim

the laus and the chongs in melbourne

melbourne city

my new car

meeting esther in GC

phebe and phyllis outside the three monkeys

condensed, concised and completely boring.

the younger sister is at home feeling lonely, the mother is at home trying to get over the fact that she only has ONE daughter left with her at home, the father is in melbourne, anxious to get home to his bedwarmer and the boyfriends are back at home, pining for their girlfriends. long-distance sucks, have i said that?

and yes, i got a car, a small, nifty, zip around town, little year 2000, red, holden barina, 1.4 liter engine, 3 door hatchback, automatic car. bought it 2nd hand after traipsing around in the rain with daddy one day. it was like a ray of light that pierced through the cloudy skies and shone upon THE car for me. quite happy about it. although daddy DID say that i would probably get fat once i get the car since i won't be running around, chasing after buses anymore. but hey....i'm not gonna drive the car ALL the time. i hope. i think daddy himself was getting a bit peeved off having to chase the bus and waiting inordinately long amounts of time for it to come. not to mention the nights spent in my room doing NOTHING since we didn't have any wheels to go drive around. but that has all changed. i have fulfilled my dream of taking my daddy for drives along the coast to show him the beautiful houses and marvellous beaches brisbane has to offer. now he's thinking of buying a house here. eeps.

and yes, the boyfriend's coming to visit. won't divulge too much details here. not safe. shhhh...

now i'm thinking of baking banana chocolate chip muffins for su-ann's housewarming dinner tonight. or maybe i'll just crawl back into bed. after a horrible day of having heartburn (which lasted 12 hours, i must add), i deserve some me-time.

i need to go shopping.

hello world.