i am me

i miss home.

so much.

sigh...

ok...so quick updates.

we've got a house. quite a nice one. managed to get it furnished by the first week so we've all got beds to sleep in and cupboards to put our clothes in. a fridge to put our food in. a washing maching to wash our clothes with. so i guess we're pretty much set for the year. only thing that's not up yet is the internet and the tv. internet will be up in about 2 weeks. which really sucks cos even in malaysia it's like 3 days or so. and then the tv, we're trying to scout around to see if we can get any cheap ones.

so here i am in the medical library of the Royal Brisbane Women's Hospital checking my very long list of emails and updating myself on what's been happening in Malaysia while i'm here.

have been pretty down in the dumps lately as you all can tell. have been feeling homesick and all. read through my mental health textbook and i've got a few of the symptoms that suggest depression. i even had a panic attack the other day. of course i didn't know it was a panic attack till i read about it yesterday.

daddy's a bit worried that i might become depressed so he's been asking me to go have some fun. but there's nothing much that is fun to do around here. i mean, there's this really huge shopping complex near my house, but there's only so many times i can go there and then TRY not to spend money since it's so scarce. although, the shopping's pretty good and there's sale on now and everything's so cheap. and then, everything closes by 5. so the evening's are pretty much dead unless we have the tv and the internet. and we have neither. so...go figure.

mummy's been really great. calling everyday to see if i'm ok. bucking me up and encouraging me all the way through. i think right now, she's the only one that's keeping me sane. all in all, she's being a real brick. wish she were here with me. wish all my family members were here with me.

getting around isn't as easy as i thought it was either. travelling to the hospital is easy enough since i have to just hop onto one bus and in 15-20 minutes, i'm there. getting to the city and to places of interest is a bit more difficult. unless you have a car. with a car, we can go anywhere within minutes. places are literally quite close. but with public transport, well, a 15 min car ride can turn into a 45 minute one.

but i shouldn't be one to gripe. i have friends with me. i have a roof over my head. all that's left to do is study hard, do my best and try to make the most out of life here. that's what people have been telling me. right now, i'm thinking...talk is cheap and easier said than done. but i appreciate the support. and i need to buck up and tell myself to suck it up.

the grace lau i thought i was is definitely tougher than this. i can't believe i'm this wuss.