my car ran out of petrol today. pushed it right to the limit deep in the red. thought i'd go about filling it up after group discussion this afternoon. but it wouldn't even start up. it would fire up and then 'put put put' it'd die.

great.

had to go to the gas station and BUY a tin to FILL up with petrol. bloody tin cost 10 bucks and would only fill up to 5 litres. bleh.

i'd always wonder what it'd be like for the car to just run out of petrol and refuse to start up. i read about it in books and watch it being played out in movies. and i'd always think to myself. 'how could these people be so stupid as to drive, drive, drive and then NOT notice that the fuel gauge is heading below the red?'.

well, i guess i'm one of them stupid people. thank goodness the petrol station was just down the road.

this is what i get for trying to wait til it's cheap petrol wednesday to fill up my tank.

exams on thursday and friday. obstetrics and gynaecology. 2 osce stations and one 300 T/F paper. can someone say 'die'?

*grabs scissors and stabs own eyes*

drives to hospitals are usually the time when i have my daily conversations in my head. i figured, since i'm on the road and i'm free to turn around and drive anywhere i want once i've decided, it's a good way to make decisions.

but i know i'm really tired when i'm having my conversation in my head and i get round to the subject of shopping and i straightaway veto it no.

but it's a good sort of tired.

was in the hospital birthing suite with a mother til 2 am last night. but once that got done, a huge boulder lifted from my shoulders.

4 babies. delivered, done and dusted.

i know 4 deliveries doesn't sound like much, but when you're competing with other medical students and midwife students, it's not very easy.

i'm suddenly thinking very hard about having normal deliveries. it's not easy at all.

so the last bribe worked. i managed to get 2 babies.

bribery 2.0

hopefully this time round, it'll get me another 2.

days of being a couch potato and lying in bed doing nothing has taken it's toll.

flabby arms. check.
tummy wobble. check.
jiggly thighs. check.
splitting headache. check

this is what happens when you take

six parts laziness to go to the gym with one part oncoming period and two parts looming exams and endless counts of a big bed and room.

simple equation. simple result.

for those ladies who say

'oh...i can eat anything i want and never grow fat. hehehe...'

or

'i wish i could just put on a couple of kilos...'

LIARS! (i would normally use a stronger sounding expletive. but due to the recent phone calls from the mother frantically asking what the matter is or why i'm using such strong a.k.a. foul language, i shall be PG)

you're all anorexics and bulimics who either STARVE yourselves or binge to the point of guilt and then PURGE/VOMIT it all out again.

you can tell that i'm not in a good mood.

my life....stinks.

omg i think i'm the worst girlfriend ever la.

i'm short tempered, i'm irrational, i jump to conclusions, i can't handle stress and therefore take it out on him. =(

i suck. i so need to get a grip on myself.

and another thing.

i was having a chat with him earlier and somehow, it was during the documentary hour where sir david attenborough was talking about mammals in the water. and while talking to him, otters were being featured! and i tell you, anyone who's seen documentaries on otters will KNOW how cute they are. especially when they're cracking large pipis on rocks balanced on their tummies while floating on their backs. and throughout the whole conversation, i was just watching it and dumbly grunting replies to him. he eventually gave up talking to me and relinquished me to the television

i suck. i so need to make it up to him.

even my mother has said that the television is my very best friend. my earliest memories are while i'm sitting in front of the television and episodes of sesame street come fleetingly to mind. even right now, i'm typing this very sporadically as it's interspersed with glancing at the television as dolphins are being featured right now. did you know that there are dolphins in the ganges river in india? and because the water is so murky, they've evolved to become completely blind and solely rely on their sonar to find fish? cool eh?

i love docos.

oh..and i love him too. muaks muaks to you sayang.

decided to give my pins a workout this morning and walked 5 kms to and fro from the supermarket to get some groceries. that's something i will never attempt again. especially on an empty stomach. start getting headachy and nauseous about 500 metres from the supermarket. when i finally reached there, i headed straight for the bakery and bought myself a croissant. things started to look much clearer from then on.

so, i believe in subtle bribery.

baked some peanut butter chocolate chip cookies and banana cake to sweeten the palate of the midwives i will be facing on wednesday night. have YET to deliver a baby independantly. bloody midwife students constantly butt in and grab all the cases before we the medical students have the chance.

before

after

it's a bit hard to actually satisfy these women. for all their love of everything sweet, they still will harangue me and ask if i've used unsalted butter, or low fat milk or wholemeal flour. geez. it's all a no, but i tell them all it's a yes. have to placate their guilty conscience somehow.

banana cake

but on that thread, i'm amazed to see how many of them are very aware of what they eat and their portions are minute! i have to admit that i've been eating MORE than they have and STILL they're the size they are. makes me wonder about genetics. loving that i'm chinese right now. but still, some of their ways have rubbed off on me. whenever i go grocery shopping nowadays, i tend to look at the nutrition facts box at the back, side or bottom of the item. counting calories has become a way of life for me and eliminating anything that has slightly too high a calorie or fat content has become a bit of an obsession.

there're so many alternatives to normal. fat-full, calorie-full foods nowadays and honestly, they taste JUST as good. and even fresh produce now can be genetically enhanced to be less fat, or more vitamins or what not. eggs even can be injected with multivitamins! and cheese! there's probiotic cheese, there's lactose-free cheese. gracious. i wonder, will there ever be a fat-free fried chicken? hahah...i hardly think so. very soon, i believe that everything we eat will be so 'healthy' that there won't be a need for the supermarkets to stock up on fat-full, normal 'unhealthy' food.

but without all these normal food, will my char kuey teow taste the same? or my mcdonald's burger? or my baskin robbins ice cream?

i wonder.