i am me

wake up calls are never easy. be it in the literal or figurative sense.

every morning, i'd hit the snooze button on my phone alarm at least twice before i decide to roll out of bed and into the toilet. and when i was back home in KL and auntie allie would knock on my door hollering at me to wake up, i'd yell at her to leave me alone and come back later so that i could catch a few more elusive zzz's. daddy also isn't foreign to the waking up his daughters spiel. every saturday morning, he'd start banging on our doors, bugging us to wake up so that we could all go for breakfast of roti canai and teh tarik.

in my life, wake up calls are essential. and as you can tell, i've become so dependant on my wake up calls that, without one, i'd basically sleep right through everything. quite literally. this month, has been chockful of wake up calls. in my personal, professional, and spiritual life.

the sandman has been hard at work with me, keeping me slumbering away. and i think it's time for him to retire or at least take a break.

work has been as per normal, but the future of my work now is a bit in limbo as higher powers mess up our, mere mortals' fate. i'm talking in the literal sense, not figurative. God, i'm sure has been hard at work making sure that things go according to His will. but the higher powers in the workforce here, have been screwing up my life to no end.

first, i discover, that my registration application papers were filed late, hence, not procuring a registration for me for the coming work year and which leads to me not knowing where i will be posted to next as a Medical Officer or when i'll be able to start work. i should have just applied for no paid leave straight up.
then, i find out, that i have to pay income tax to this little island. no problems right? that would be the case, except for the fact that the deadline to file the income tax has lapsed. how did i not know this? because the same higher powers that were supposed to look after me by making sure of my livelihood next year, failed to mail me the letter sent to them, as they're my employers, that details my income tax submission. great.

last night, i swear, i was on the verge of a massive meltdown. apart from storming out of my room to pick my housemate's brain as to how i'm going to rectify all these cock-ups, i snapped like a twig bent too far into two. my poor housemate had just gotten back from Bali and i didn't even say hi to him before i launched into my tirade of misfortune.

but as i said, wake up calls are essential to me. this is a huge one. i'm no longer gonna wallow in self-pity and act piteously. screw this. i'm stronger than this. much stronger. and it's time for this sleeping giantess to wake up.