i am me

the best part of being in a maternity hospital and in an obstetric ward, is that i get to hold newborn babies.

was feeling forlorn and under the weather when i passed by the nursery and saw little bundles of pink and blue all wrapped up tight. instant melting moment. i couldn't stop myself, i went into the nursery, washed my hands and picked up the most adorable little bundle of gooey, soft, warm and sweet smelling thing in the world.

then he started crying.

and he wouldn't stop.

no matter how much i rocked him. and cooed him. and patted him. HE JUST WOULDN'T STOP! i was determined. i would make him stop! i think some reflex in me kicked in. and i was like...eh...if now cannot even make baby stop crying, what say next time when it's your own kid!? ok...so i was determined to make him stop. i sung to him. i swayed myself like a freaking rocking chair. i let him suck on my pinky. i did everything short of letting him breastfeed! and then i did it. i made him stop. and you know what did it?

giving him back to his mother.