i am me

i'm listening to an album by a young singer by the name of Dionne Bromfield, who is also known as Amy Winehouse's goddaughter. the album is a mixture of some oldies and some original songs. the common thread that seems to hold the seams of the album together is the wishful thinking of young love. she sings of the love you find at the playground while playing hopscotch with your girlfriends and every so often, sneak a peek at the group of boys over on the other side of the playground playing tag. you catch the eye of the boy you like and you smile a secret smile. one that only you and him can decipher. your girlfriends know and giggle alongside you when you excitedly tell them that the two of you made eye contact. she also sings of caution passed down by the older generation. when a mother tries to spare her child of the heartache that she knows would follow her no matter what. for that is the destiny of a woman. she will live her life with her heart on her sleeve.

how simple it all seemed back then. when we were younger, more naive and less cautious with our heart. when holding hands would be enough to give you a high that would last days. but sooner, rather than later, we all have to get our hearts broken. the day will come when he no longer shows up to the playground and you wonder. and you wait. anxiously. you don't know what happened. and you question yourself. did i do something wrong? does he not like me anymore? did that other girl with the pretty braids catch his eye? it all seems to simple. he sees a prettier girl and that's that. young children can be very cruel. they're too young to understand tact and politeness and will just follow their gut instinct wherever it calls them. no rules, no responsibilities.

and no matter how many times our mothers caution us, in the heat of the rush of hormones and happy highs, we throw her cautions to the wind. heedless to the fact that she speaks from experience and wisdom that can only come from similar occasions. she too was young once and she might have made the same mistakes. not wanting us to see the same fate, out of immense love, she tries to save us from ourselves. but it is always futile.