...
was walking around the mall with soo yi earlier just now, and i couldn't help but notice that there seemed to be babies EVERYWHERE. i think there's just recently been a baby boom. not only here but also back home. where did they all come from? did we get hit by some sort of fertility wave that anyone who so much as THINKS of having a baby will suddenly find themselves with child? no, i'm not being cynical or bitter. i'm just jealous. maternal hormones are starting to take over my being even as i start to type this. i just can't help but feel slightly panicky over the fact that i'm 24 this year and that the promise i made myself to have my firstborn before i turn 30 is starting to catch up to me. holy schmoly! it's only 6 more years before i'm 30! i graduate end of the year, start working next year, TRY to build up a career and save SOME money in the next 5 years. it all suddenly seems like time is running out. so weird isn't it? on the other hand, these are supposed to be the best years of my life. i've got my youth, my energy, my vitality and all i can do is WORRY? i'm supposed to be enjoying myself, 'enjoying' my work and of course, enjoying my freedom of NOT having burdens like mortgages and debts to think about. but then, why do i feel as though i don't have that luxury?
last year, when i was back in kl, i attended 4 weddings. thank goodness, there wasn't a funeral. and this year, there's going to be at least 6 weddings to attend and these friends are all, give or take 2 years, around my age! hello bello? where did this sudden craze to get married come about? friends are shacking up together, having kids, getting married. and here i am, still studying. jolly good ol' fruit, i say.
this is how i feel right now. and i miss him.
No comments:
Post a Comment